By Junior Levi Kassinove
Middle-School Blogger Penny proposed we write about the color yellow. The Blog Staff accepted her challenge and came up with some surprising associations. Levi’s reaction went more in the direction of . . . yellow journalism.
CONTENT WARNING: I will trash on your favorite color if your favorite color is yellow.
Before I get into all of my reasons for hating the color yellow, let me just back up my opinion with cold, hard science. According to apartmenttherapy.com, yellow is the favorite color of a wee 5% of the people. Perhaps this means that I’m preaching to the choir. I imagine, however, 95% of people who don’t love yellow don’t completely detest yellow like I do. So, here are my top three reasons for hating the color yellow.
- It’s the Symbol of Death and Decay
Head over to the cemetery and dig up your favorite grave. Open up the casket, and you’ll find a yellow corpse. Not a red corpse, not a green corpse, but a pale yellow corpse. When one has jaundice, one’s skin turns yellow. When one does not brush one’s teeth, one’s teeth turn yellow. When the yellow sun attacks people during the daytime, it can give them skin cancer, or worse, a farmer’s tan. Yellow is also the color of vomit. In general, yellow just radiates disease and rot. Some negative symbols with the color yellow include but are not limited to the radioactive symbol, wet floor signs, and general cautionary signs.
- Yellow is a Negative Motif in Literature
In Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray, there is a yellow book that Lord Henry gives to Dorian, which, upon reading, throws Dorian down a spiral of self-hatred and guiltless crimes. In Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, the monster that Victor creates is described as having yellow skin and yellow eyes. In a short story by Charlotte Perkins Gilman, titled The Yellow Wallpaper, a woman suffering a temporary psychosis hallucinates a woman being trapped behind snaking bars as she stares at her room’s yellow wallpaper. Finally, in Fyodor Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment, yellow is the color of Raskolnikov’s apartment walls, representing his impoverished state. No, I am not just listing off books from my English class.
- It’s just straight up the worst color
When you see someone walking down the street, are they wearing yellow? 99% of the time, the answer is no. They are wearing jeans and a white t-shirt because they don’t want to look like they’re cosplaying as Morty Smith. Compare that to colors like blue and beige–the colors that look good in the world, and you’ll see that yellow has no place amongst these aesthetic giants. The sun is pretty, you say? Have you ever looked at it for more than three seconds? I didn’t think so. Yellow is a symbol of prosperity? It’s also what color your walls turn into when you smoke too often. I wouldn’t exactly call that a sign of prosperity.
From cancer-causing rays of sun to depictions of alcoholics in literature (Dostoevsky’s Marmeladov), yellow connotes the worst of the worst. It invokes a visceral reaction from me and many of my peers and teachers. Louisa said yellow makes her think of “thrown-up hot dogs.” Mr. Satterfield eloquently commented, “Yellow is the color of lukewarm indecision and treachery achieved by laziness.” Indy concluded that the color “reminds me of urine.”