. . . on Spring Break. We’ll return the week of April 25. Safe and restful travels.

By Ani Madanyan

Palm Valley is hosting another SCHOOL DANCE! ASB Introduces…. Palm Valley’s Red Carpet Premiere. It’s going to be THIS SATURDAY, April 9th from 7-9 p.m. in the Lower School courtyard. As a member of ASB, I can proudly say that there will be a celebrity DJ and two mystery teacher bartenders. There’s going to be a gorgeous red carpet so that everyone feels as if they were to attend an actual Red Carpet premiere. There’s also a photo booth, boujee finger foods, and more that I cannot yet reveal. This is YOUR moment to be your own celebrity, so go for it. Tickets are $30 for a single person, but if you want a couple’s discount, it’s $25 each. Everyone received a special letter saying “you’re invited” so that must say something about how fancy it is…

English 8 read N. Scott Momaday’s “The Delight Song of Tsoai–talee.” Momaday employs anaphora, starting the lines of his first stanza with “I am . . . .” I asked the 8th graders to try the technique in their own “I Am . . .” poems. I found Nicole’s so beautifully detailed, I asked her if we could share it on thebirdonfire.org. She agreed. — Ms. Zachik

I am a pencil sharpened down to the ferrule. 

I am the mouse that creeps out in the dead of night. 

I am the volume button on a remote.

I am two mismatched pairs of socks.

I am Jupiter’s second-smallest moon. 

I am a gopher underground.

I am a cloud floating with the sunrise.

I am many things, and many things are me. 

I am a seed on a dandelion.

I am smudged gel-pen ink. 

I am an unused eraser. 

I am many things, and they all are me.

I am, I am, I am. 

–Nicole Jowitt

Last year, from our “Something to Write about Wednesday Prompt,” we played along with The New Yorker, asking the question: “WHAT THE NEW ROARING TWENTIES WILL BE LIKE?”

Staffers from our very own thebirdonfire.org contributed their predictions. They wrote, “In the New Roaring Twenties, . . . “

• Leo will stop prefacing every question with “I have a question, . . .”
• People putting their pronouns in their social media bios will become commonplace.
  • — Alumnus Erik Bearman

• People will no longer have a preference for toilet paper; we’re used to taking whatever we can get on the shelves. 
• Disney+, Netflix, or Hulu? Depending on your answer, we may or may not get along.
  • — Senior Sara Habibipour

• Because of the increased lethargic attitudes in students due to online school, public schools will adopt mandatory siestas from 1-3 pm.
  • — Alumnus Hannah Hall

• People will be elected to public office based on social media followers.
  • — Current Blogger Roman Rickwood

• Californians will overrun Texas, causing the half the state to petition to be granted new statehood with the threat of secession should their request be denied.
  • — Alumnus Elizabeth Shay

• Conservatives will gain full control of the government and establish prohibition, . . . for social media.
  • — Alumnus Jake Sonderman

• In the new roaring 20s, dogs will be much sadder because all of their masters decided they’d like to go back out now instead of being with them all day.
  • — Alumnus Dog-Lover Evan Spry

In the spirit of Halloween, we dive into zombies and Hu Tao. We learn about the zombie that she befriends and their journey together. Get ready for a ride! — Editor Roman Rickwood

By Izumi, Middle-School Gaming Enthusiast

Hello! Welcome to this week’s blog post! To go with Halloween being this weekend, and already writing about Hu Tao, I decided to write about the zombie she found. Meet Qiqi, the zombie.

Qiqi is a child who died over 100 years ago, and stayed in the world of Teyvat as a zombie. Qiqi is quiet and easily forgets things. Her memory is extremely bad, at the point where she has forgotten most of her life. Qiqi does remember Hu Tao and despises her. Qiqi makes the point that Hu Tao has a “punchable” face. Qiqi doesn’t want anything to do with Hu Tao; she says she wants to seal her in a fridge, or just somewhere that hides her from the world so Qiqi can never see her again, even though Hu Tao is always pampering her. There is no clear reason why Qiqi hates Hu Tao. Is it because she took Qiqi into Liyue? Qiqi also loves coconut milk. An example of her often confused thinking, Qiqi thinks coconut milk is from the “cocogoat.”

In life, Qiqi was a regular herb-picking child, until one day she lost her way and trespassed into the realm of the Adepti. She injured her right leg in a fall and quickly hid in a cavern to recover. It seems in this cavern, Qiqi was caught between life and death, between the mortal and immortal planes of existence. (Genshin-Impact.fandom.com). With that stumble into the cavern, Qiqi became a zombie.

College football can be a passionate game, full of striking triumphs and contentious errors. Roman muses on what occurred at Neyland Stadium a few Saturdays ago between the University of Mississippi and the University of Tennessee. Throw in their fans, coaches, and referees, and you have more than a ball game.

By Roman Rickwood, Sports Enthusiast

What we witnessed two Saturday nights ago was passion, anger, and the result of poor officiating. “It just means more”: this is the catchphrase for the SEC, the conference in which both the University of Tennessee and the University of Mississippi are conference members. Everything “means more” in this conference . . . except the officiating. While these teams are not necessarily the cream of the crop when it comes to the conference, they are generally well respected nationally as very competitive teams. When these two teams faced off on a cool Saturday night in Knoxville, there was a lot on the line. It was set to be a statement game for both teams, with Tennessee looking to turn it around with the help of their new coach Josh Huepel. The opposing University of Mississippi Head Coach, Lane Kiffin, was stepping back back on familiar turf. He coached Tennessee for many years. 

The energy was crazy with over 100,000 screaming fans fired up to cheer on their team against the villain of college football, Lane Kiffin. Scandal follows him. When the game began on Saturday the 16th, it was a tight contest with an emphasis on defense, with both teams having trouble scoring. In my opinion, the fuse was lit when the refs muffed a call that would have given Tennessee a touchdown. While refs are human and make mistakes just like all of us, the bad calls are getting out of hand–especially in a day and age when replay is as prevalent as it is. This crowd of over 100,000 soon turned into an angry mob in the second half as their team went down a score. 

Towards the end of the 4th quarter, Tennessee had the ball, was down 7, and needed a score. It was 4th down, and the Volunteers needed 15 yards to get a first down and continue their campaign for a touchdown. Quarterback Hendon Hooker connected with his tight end, and to many eyes (especially of those in the stadium) it appeared that the ball had gotten to the first-down line. However, even after going to replay, the refs still ruled him short of the line to gain. While this call could be argued back and forth between rules analysts and experts, the bottom line is if you miss enough blatant calls in a row, eventually paying customers want answers, and with this call the crowd–feeling as if their intelligence had been insulted–began throwing objects onto the field. Play was suspended for almost 25 minutes while referees, coaches, and security staff decided how to proceed. Eventually it appeared that the crowd had run out of objects to throw because the shelling ceased. The game resulted with Ole Miss making a statement and winning 31-26 in an absolute war of a football game. And yet again, the villain of college football–Lane Kiffin–had the last laugh, as he jeeringly caught a water bottle aimed for his face while he exited the field of play. 

Days after the game the only thing that was discussed was the behavior of 1% of fans rather than the athleticism and performance put on display by both teams. There were many infamous moments–such as the golf ball thrown on the field that would go on to be collected by Head Coach Kiffin and later posted on social media with the final score of the game written large in Sharpie on the side of the ball. Regardless of all of this, this is college football, and more specifically this is the SEC, and officiating cannot continue to be this dismal. To the people crying in the Tennessee home crowd, I ask if college football is really for you? 

Meet Sayu. Izumi introduces Genshin Impact character, Sayu. You’ll recognize her as the small ninja who dreams of growing taller. — Editor Ike Spry

By Izumi, Middle-School Gaming Correspondent

Hello, and welcome to this week’s blog post! This week we meet another character from Genshin Impact named Sayu, a very lazy ninja from Inazuma, who can’t seem to grow taller.

Sayu, a very short and petite ninja, attached to the Shuumatsuban. She is always very sleepy and almost never has motivation to do her work. Sayu has a goal and one goal only, to grow taller. Sayu is very self conscious about her height. She desperately wants to be as tall as the other ninjas she works with. She is 16-18 years old; she’s 4’6, and she has a high pitched voice–everyone (even me) would think she is 9 or 10 years old. Don’t underestimate her. Sayu appears to be wearing Mujina attire (Japanese definition: Badger attire), but her clothes are actually based on a Tanuki, a Japanese Raccoon Dog which has badger-like qualities.

Sayu takes a training called ninjutsu, a martial arts strategy of “unconventional warfare.” Lazy, distracted, Sayu finds it hard for her to follow through with all her training sessions. Her caretaker is always having to search all over Inazuma looking for Sayu, making sure she does her training. But, Sayu, taking selective advantage of her new ninjutsu skills, hides from her work. Sayu does this because she wants to sleep. She thinks sleeping will make her grow taller, as tall as the ninjas she does training with. However, sleeping does not help Sayu grow. She’s small, and stays small. Without her awarded anemo vision, she wouldn’t be able to even carry her sword in battle. A claymore sword is very large and heavy.

See my graphic below to meet Sayu.

Many of us have pretty salt lamps glowing in our homes. Did you know they may have healthful healing properties? And, don’t even get Jesse started on selenite lamps . . .

By Jesse Denyer, Amateur Astrologist

Welcome back!

Salt lamps–maybe you’ve heard of them. Have you heard of selenite lamps? Everyone knows salt lamps are pretty orange glowing rock lamps that every girl has in their room for the aesthetic, but do you really know what the powers of a salt lamp are? Read to find out.

Salt lamps are sold in a variety of sizes and shapes and can be found almost anywhere these days–Target, Amazon, Home Depot, etc. Besides giving your room a nice warm glow, salt lamps are purportedly great for people with allergies. Salt lamps are said to have properties that both cleanse the air of toxins and the energy in the room, through a process known as hygroscopy. Salt lamps attract and absorb contaminated water molecules in the room and lock them into the salt crystal (jpost.com). Salt lamps are recommended for people with asthma or other breathing issues. Salt lamps are also known to cleanse the air of negative energy, making your space more relaxing and conducive to better sleep. 

But, what is a selenite lamp?

A selenite lamp is a lamp made from the selenite crystal that naturally forms an obeliscal shape. The selenite lamp radiates a bright white light and is known to calm nerves, induce relaxation, and reduce the effects of blue light which is terrible for your eyes. 

I’m a huge fan of both these lamps. Their looks are stunning, and I find their powers are extremely helpful for everyday life. I wish people would stop selling salt lamps just for the aesthetic and start informing people of their benefits, but I guess that’s what you have me for. 

So, that’s it! I hope you learned a little something about everyone’s favorite room decor. Come back next week where I will be talking about choosing a Halloween costume according to your astrological sign. Capricorn? Be a historical figure. Cancer? Try a flying squirrel!

Last week our Amateur Astrologist Jesse talked about the powerful effects of the Moldavite crystal. This week, as we lean into Libra season, she will tell us what signs are most compatible, in friendship and in love. — Editor Ike Spry

By Jessica Denyer, Amateur Astrologist

Welcome back!

First of all I want to start by saying happy Libra season! Mercury is also in retrograde! I didn’t make an entire blog post for Libra season because Mercury’s retrograde is the only thing happening this Libra season; nonetheless, it’s still very interesting. If you are feeling out of sorts lately, just hang on; the retrograde only lasts from September 27 to October 17. Now . . . back to your regularly scheduled post.

Today I am going to be talking about what signs are most compatible with each other. This can mean compatibility both in friendship, and in love. So let’s jump right in and let the stars do the matchmaking.

Aries & Capricorn

Aries are a very extroverted sign; however, they do have introverted tendencies. They enjoy their quiet time, where they can be more gentle and subtle. Capricorns are extremely introverted  and can share that time happily with Aries. Aries also has the ability to pull Capricorn out of their shell and push them to have fun. They both have excellent drive for success, making them a total hard-working power couple. 

Taurus & Virgo

Taurus are roamers who love to look at the little details and enjoy nature and all it has to offer. They are very go with the flow, almost to a fault. Virgos are very organized and act as a great flexible structure for a Taurus. Virgos are also very nature orientated and go with the flow, but their flow has organization and structure, so they can get stuff done. Together they can flow through life while still being productive.

Gemini & Sagittarius 

Gemini and Sagittarius make for a very fun match. They are both equally extroverted and love a good time. Geminis move a little slower in life and can be a bit indecisive and wishy-washy. The Sagittarius hardly waste time making a choice and are usually full steam ahead. Together they can go through life having fun and filling in each other’s gaps. 

Cancer & Aquarius

Aquarius are a very loving sign, but they can tend to be stiff and like to bottle up their emotions until they can’t take it anymore. Cancers on the other hand are a highly emotional sign and have the ability to soften up the very harsh Aquarius and allow them to be vulnerable. Aquarius is also good for Cancers because they can toughen them up a bit and make them less vulnerable. Together they have a mutual relationship that strengthens both partners. 

Leo & Libra

Leos are an extremely extroverted sign that tend to go full steam ahead into situations. They leap before they look, sometimes getting themselves into trouble. Libras on the other hand tend to over analyze and are known to be very indecisive and introverted. Together their energies tend to balance out. Libra encourages Leo to think before they do, and to calm down a bit, while Leos encourage Libras to live a little and do less overthinking. 

Scorpio & Pisces 

Scorpios and Pisces are both extremely emotional signs, but in different ways. Scorpios get their feelings hurt very easily by other people and always feel like they are under attack. Pisces are secure, but have great empathy and feel more emotion for other people than themselves. Pisces have empathy for Scorpios and act as a safety blanket for them to return back to when they have been hurt. On the flip side, Scorpios have intense feelings of love and are great at showing it–making the tender Pisces feel whole. 

So, that’s it! Again, nothing to do with Astrology is scientifically proven, but based on the biggest qualities, these are just the signs that would be most compatible with one another. Come back next week where I will be talking about Salt and Selenite Lamps and what they actually do besides make your room have a nice aesthetic. 

Thanks for reading!

Your Amateur Astrologist Jesse

“Saturdays are for the boys,” but especially Roman. Although he will be sad to miss the big Arkansas vs. Georgia game this weekend, his spirit will be there cheering on his Georgia Bulldogs. Will Arkansas beat the #2 team in the SEC? Will the Dogs take home another win? Keep reading for Roman’s predictions.–Editor Jesse Denyer

By Roman Rickwood, Sports Enthusiast

Since 2012, the Arkansas Razorbacks football team has a mere 14 SEC (Southeastern Conference) wins. Not only have they suffered in conference, but they have also suffered embarrassingly bad losses to much lesser teams. The team has had five coaches since 2012, a pretty good indicator that a team is struggling and getting fed up with losing. The football program was riddled in controversy and had a questionable culture around player safety, recruiting, and most importantly winning. Playing in the most competitive conference comes with many benefits; however, it requires you to play some of the most talented teams week in and week out. College football is all about recruiting, and being in the SEC already gives the schools in the conference a leg up in recruiting because they are able to offer more opportunities to help these young players reach the next level that they desire (NFL). However, due to lackluster recruiting abilities, Arkansas has fallen behind and dug itself into a hole. 

Last year, Arkansas football hired Sam Pittman, who at the time was the offensive line coach at the University of Georgia. Pittman, who was a fan favorite at the university and who has always been a master recruiter, had never been head coach in his 30 years of coaching. This decision made many college football analysts confused and shocked that this was Arkansas’s pick. 

However, all of the scrutiny stopped when Sam Pittman got to Arkansas and quickly won over the fans with his relatability and his desire to win. His first year as a coach was the infamous year of 2020; for a while it was unclear whether or not there would be a season. It was finally decided that teams electing to play would play in conference only, meaning Sam Pittman’s inaugural season would be restricted to in-conference opponents; meaning they would have to play tough teams week in and week out. However, Arkansas ended up having a surprisingly good season. They snapped their SEC losing streak by beating Mississippi State in week two, and they also had wins against a good Ole Miss team and Tennessee. The games they lost were very close. The program was trending upward, and fans were excited about it. 

So far this year, they have started out 4-0 with notable wins against rivals Texas and Texas A&M. These are very good wins for the program in terms of recruiting and bragging rights. This week they play their biggest game of the year against #2-ranked Georgia. A vigilant defense will be needed. This will be a true test for the Arkansas team. Right now they are 18.5-point underdogs; however, I assume as game-time approaches that line will get smaller. Another big story is the Arkansas head coach going back to Georgia to play against his former team, as well as playing against his old boss and kids that he recruited. 

I expect this to be an exciting game, and my prediction is that Arkansas starts fast; however, the Razorbacks will lose steam as the game goes on. Much to my dismay, I will be missing this game as I have to take my SAT on Saturday! Kickoff will be at 9:00 a.m. Pacific Time and will be on ESPN. 

GO DAWGS!!