the bird on fire

The Bird is the Word: Sophisticated Schoolyard Shenanigans

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“Objectively The Best Grade”

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thebirdonfire.org rotates editors weekly. This week, Renée Vazquez takes the helm. With the power inherent in being editor comes the charge of naming the week’s THEME. Renée charges the Blog Team with writing about “Home.” Luke opens discussing how PVS is “Home” to our Class of 2020.

By Senior Luke Langlois

Greetings one; greetings all. If you haven’t noticed, the class of 2020 is HERE. I can certainly imagine that you have noticed us, since, according to Charles Schnell, we are “objectively the best grade.” He later clarified to me that this line was ironic, but does his irony make something untrue? Anyway, we weren’t always the tippity top dogs of the school. We don’t think about it too much as we carry out our daily lives, but the senior class is a culmination of thousands of days at Palm Valley. We’ve done billions of worksheets and have made even more exclusive jokes that ONLY SENIORS would understand. So, I recently sent out a survey to the entire class asking what it means for them to be a senior. 

  • What does it mean to finally be a part of the traditions that have been performed by countless classes before us? – I was personally expecting some snarky answers; it’s part of the rebellious teenage culture to be apathetic towards school. Surprisingly, everyone made a positive contribution. As one senior put it, “It’s pretty awesome… but it’s super surreal.”  That’s probably where I’d gauge myself. Many of us ask, “Wait, I’m graduating soon?” Monotonously going to school every day has become a part of life, so it coming to an end feels quite strange. Some are more excited about being a senior. Claire, for example, says she’s “so jazzed it’s unbelievable. I’m living for this. All my dreams are coming true.” That sounds like pretty legitimate excitement to me! Another senior brings us down, saying that there is a lot of work to do before we’re anywhere. Hopefully, we don’t succumb to senioritis before then. 
  • Could you name a way that Palm Valley has become like a home to you? – We spend more working time at our school than we do at home. I suppose we seniors do because we love Palm Valley very much. One senior remarked that they have never felt more welcome at any other school and that they cannot wait to come back and visit Palm Valley when they have the chance. Another said that they felt their old “home” was unwelcoming, and that being here has given them a clear goal in life.  Josh Tyer reminisced on the people that have made him who he is, “ I could never give up the family I’ve made at Palm Valley.” In one way or another, we students have a connection to our school if you dig deep and look. Even if you’re not a senior that may help motivate you to keep hitting academic heights; it’s for your home! Or, you see life like Wilton Zuniga who thinks the student lounge is somewhat of a “cozy living room.” 
  • If you could create a NEW senior tradition, what would it be? – Traditions are the best way to keep the generations of students connected, whether it be an alumnus who graduated fifty years earlier or a current senior. Traditions can be pretty whacky. Palm Valley’s seniors have some ideas that correspond with that theme. One senior had the idea of a “handprint wall,” where every graduating class would put their hands in and leave their mark forever. Another senior suggested “Senior Dorito Day,” which is exactly what it sounds like. Claire Jenkins pulled an idea from her daredevil spirit and said all seniors should go skydiving. Perhaps one of you non-senior student readers can make one of these concepts a reality one day. Please, skydive. 
  • Do you have any senior prank ideas? – Palm Valley School is not known for its senior pranks, but seniors in general certainly are. As such, I asked the class what kind of pranks they would like to see. One senior, insightfully making fun of the way I phrased my question, said “Yes.” In all “seriousness,” though, Lawrence Nelson would be interested in filling the student lounge with BALLOONS. Doesn’t that sound delightful? Perhaps we could bring in a clown as well to strike coulrophobia into the younger students. Charles Schnell ponders about pooling our money together, buying a kayak, and leaving the kayak up at the graduation seats instead of us. Uh, how creative! One senior wishes that they could install League of Legends on every school computer because everyone could use a competitive gaming session. Claire, with sleep on her mind, says every senior should bring a sleeping bag and take a nap in the lobby. I do not actually condone nor condemn, senior pranks (nor does Ms. Zachik), but they are hilarious to think about.

There is your somewhat brief look at the musings of the class of 2020. Unfortunately, not all of the seniors responded to my survey (you know who you are). By the end of the year, I may do this again to see how we’ve come along. No promises, but stay tuned. 

Editor: Renée Vazquez

Pushing Our Brains to the LIMITS

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By Luke Langlois

Editor James landed on “Philosophy” as his weekly Theme. James says philosophy makes him see the world “more clearly.” Luke asks, “Does it make it more clear? or more cloudy?” This is Luke’s response to the subject of Philosophy.

Over the years, humanity has risen to the occasion time and time again to push limits. Whether it be physical limits, technological limits, scientific limits, or academic limits, we always find a way to take it further. But, before we make many of these leaps, we have to push the boundaries of our thoughts. And, then, we have to push the boundaries of the definition of boundaries. How would I know that “I am” if Descartes never said “I think, therefore I am.” I would not! That is why philosophy, the study of knowledge, thinking, morals, values, etc, is critical to our humanity. Where would we be without forward thinking? With that being said, the following is a list of questions that probably will not push our society forward, but they should provoke some thinking.

  1. Is free will a reality or a mere illusion?
  2. If freedom is just being able to “do whatever you want,” are animals more “free” than humans?
  3. Referring to the quote of Descartes (“I think, therefore I am”), if an AI were able to “think,” would it be considered sentient?  
  4. Are there extraterrestrials out there? Are they simply avoiding us?
  5. If extraterrestrials were to visit our planet, what should our response be? What would we actually end up doing?
  6. Are we living in a simulation? Are the “others” in our lives engineered to answer this question to keep us naive?
  7. Do other people see color in the same way that we see color?  Is our blue someone else’s red?
  8. On the same note, how would you describe a color?
  9. Is time real? Is there truly a past, present, and future?
  10. We often deal with deadlines. Our life revolves around beginnings and ends. But, does time have a beginning and end?  
  11. Perhaps there is no physical embodiment of Santa Claus, but the tales of his existence provide children with a lifelong holiday spirit. Does this make him “real” in a sense?
  12. Would you end the life of ten people, unknown to you, for ten million dollars?
  13. Similarly, would you end the life of ten to save your best friend?
  14. You are the leader of your nation and your largest city has just been struck with a nuclear weapon. How do you respond?
  15. Is anything truly experienced objectively?
  16. You have two options: you can go back in history and prevent every major war that has occurred. Or, you can stay in your current life and let history play itself out. What do you do?
  17. With the snap of your fingers, you can eliminate half the life in the universe. After this, resources are plentiful. Do you do it?

So, there are some questions. Some of them are obviously a bit more serious than others, but none of them have an easy answer. Or do they? Human brains have achieved incredible feats over the years, but there are some questions that simply elude the capability of our thoughts. Perhaps YOU can provide us with answers and be the next great philosopher.  

Editor: James Zheng