https://www.apple.com/us-hed/shop/back-to-school
Editor: Bella Bier
The Bird is the Word: Sophisticated Schoolyard Shenanigans
By Blog Adventurer Holden Hartle
Not to sound cheesy, but over Labor Day weekend I had the most amazing experience. I, along with a few friends, embarked on a journey around the Salton Sea. On this journey, we stopped at Salvation Mountain and, the real attraction, Slab City.
For those that don’t know, Salvation Mountain is a sculpture made by Leonard Knight. He dedicated 30 years of his life to the spread of one phrase: God is love. This phrase is plastered all over the mountainside. The pull factor of Salvation Mountain, at least for me, is that there is nothing like Salvation Mountain anywhere in the world. Its uniqueness and originality is unmatched.
If you travel half a mile east of Salvation Mountain, you will find Slab City. Residents live completely off the grid. There is no electricity, running water, or most things that make life in the desert comfortable, but residents make it work.
Upon arrival, you are greeted with rows of trailers, which may remind you of a trailer park. But, if that’s the case, this is the single greatest trailer park in the world. Beautiful murals line the entrance, and people are often outside their trailers selling various items, from pottery to art lessons.
Our specific destination was East Jesus, cleverly named as it is east of Salvation Mountain. East Jesus is an art gallery that is made entirely out of recycled material. We get out of the car and enter the appropriately named, West Satin. West Satin is more of a hang-out area rather than an art gallery. Inside was a group of people simply talking about their lives and their stories.
Before leaving home for Slab City, four different people came up to me and said, “Don’t get out of the car. You could get attacked by homeless people.” Let me tell you how glad I am that I didn’t listen to those people. The Slab City residents were some of the most genuinely nice people I have ever met. Though I never got his name, one resident gave us some insight into why and how someone would live there.
When I asked the man how he lives without common amenities, he responded with his own question, “How do you live?”
“With electricity and air conditioning.”
“Are you happy?”
“I’d say so.”
“Are you stressed?”
“Well, everyone is stressed where I live.”
“That is how I live comfortably. There are no electricity bills, no utility bills, and no rent. You just live. There is no timetable for when you have to do something. You just do it whenever you can.” To adults who pay bills and to teenagers who are generally stressed all of the time, this sounds like a Utopia. But it wasn’t always so Utopian.
When the government was surveying the area to build a wall between America and Mexico, they tried to drive the residents out. Their way of accomplishing this was to shut off Slab City’s water. Though he didn’t go into exact details, the man explained that now they have more water than before the government concreted their water pipes.
Their stress-free life and their sense of community is something that I’ve never seen before. We live in a society where we need to get everything done on a schedule, but why not take a breath? The residents of Slab City are living full Hakuna Matata, with no worries or cares. Most of us say that we could never live without our electronics or air conditioning, but look at the hundreds of people living in our backyard that have no electronics, yet they are some of the happiest people I’ve ever met. Maybe there is something to take away from these Slab City-ians about how to live a happy life.
Editor: Luke Langlois
By Blogger and thebirdonfire Resident Film Critic Leo Milmet
After sharing some of my personal picks, I feel like it is my turn to be educated on the tastes of others in the Palm Valley community. Therefore, I interviewed several members of the Blog Staff about films they find totally underseen and/or underrated. Enjoy!
Dying To Survive (Muye Wen, 2018)
“A based-on-a-true-story about a Chinese man who was prosecuted for buying leukemia medicine from India. The film reflects the humanity and the problem with medicine control in the Chinese government. It tells the truth!”–Jeremy Cheng
Sky High (Mike Mitchell, 2005)
“This is a fun movie about a superhero high school with a star-studded cast. Don’t watch it if you’re expecting something with the punch of a Marvel movie. I wouldn’t consider it a form of amazing art, but it’s a good, short movie to relax with and watch on a rainy day.”–Luke Langlois
The Room (Tommy Wiseau, 2003)
“Try to recreate this movie. You can’t. It’s so unique and original, and it’s never been done before.”–Holden Hartle
Wild Child (Nick Moore, 2008)
“It’s just really good in a dumb, underrated movie sort of way. It’s not a great movie, but I just really like it. But it’s really good. Just remember I told you to watch it.”–Makena Behnke
The Trouble With Angels (Ida Lupino, 1966)
Anonymous suggestion. The movie speaks for itself.
The Green Hornet (Michel Gondry, 2011)
“It’s a superhero movie, but it’s not a total superhero movie. It’s good. The performances are entertaining.”–James Zheng
Aquamarine (Elizabeth Allen Rosenbaum, 2006)
“It’s good.”–Bella Bier
Editor: Holden Hartle
By Leo Milmet
Picture day, when people try to look their best so they can have an unrealistic nostalgia trip in forty years.
Picture day, when you take a picture with EXACTLY the right amount of smile.
Picture day, when they rank kids from tallest to shortest so they can get in exactly the right place on an uncomfortable metallic bench.
Picture day, a day of hell for people who hate the word (and/or the food) “cheese.”
Picture day, a day that unapologetically and openly celebrates vanity, as opposed to other days which apologetically and subtextually celebrate vanity.
Picture day, the day when you sit out in the hotter-than-Hades desert sun, squinting in its radiating brightness, and waiting as the photographer perfects the camera settings.
Picture day, where you better remember to wear formal dress or you may not be in the class photo.
So, please, remember to wear formal dress on Picture Day at Palm Valley School, this Tuesday, September 18th, 2018.
Editor: Luke Langlois
By Dayton Kennard
Hey there! If you watch YouTubers Markiplier, Jacksepticeye, CrankGameplays, or TheRPGMinx, then chances are you’ve seen them play Monster Prom. If you haven’t, then hopefully this post gives you a good idea of what it is.
WARNING: Monster Prom would likely be M for MATURE by the Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB), meaning that it would generally be suitable for people aged seventeen and up due to sexual content, strong (explicit) language, drug usage, and alcohol consumption. Monster Prom was released on 27 April, 2018, and developed by Beautiful Glitch, programmed by Elías Pereiras, published by Those Awesome Guys, written by Julián Quijano, Cory O’Brien, and Maggie Herskowitz, and illustrated by Arthur Tien.
The game itself is a dating sim/visual novel that mocks typical dating sims as well as mocking itself. The game includes easter eggs that can range in allusion from 50 Shades of Grey to Disney. The game also has a built-in multiplayer mode where you and up to three friends can compete to see who gets a date to Prom, or even compete for the love of the same character!
The story takes place at a school called Spooky High in the player’s Senior Year, three weeks before Prom. You’ve narrowed down your prom-date choices to six monsters: Miranda Vanderbilt the Mermaid Princess (age 19), Damien LaVey the Reckless Demon (21), Scott Howl the Werewolf Jock (21), Liam De Lioncourt the Hipster Vampire (4XX), Polly Geist the Party Ghost (22?), and Vera Oberlin the Ruthless Gorgon (23). After the intro, you’ll take Monster Prom’s Stupidest Pop Quiz Ever™ that “will throw a bunch of absurd questions at you and turn your answers into your character’s stats.” Said stats are Smarts, Boldness, Creativity, Charm, Fun, and Money, which affect your interactions with the characters. You’re then introduced to the game with a short tutorial that explains how your character’s stats work, how the activities you do give your certain stats, and how events can either help or harm you.
A few more cool things are that your gender doesn’t affect who you can and can’t date, and there are two game types you can choose from: Short Game (around 30-minutes long) and Full Game (around 60-minutes long). With the goofy situations, fun characters, quick gameplay, and forgiving penalties that you can quickly recover from, Monster Prom is a captivating game with lots of replay value! If this sounds interesting to you, I recommend you head over to the game’s Steam page* and buy it! It’s only $11.99, which is over 50% cheaper than a typical $50 prom ticket!
Editors: Peter Kadel and Bella Bier
*https://store.steampowered.com/app/743450/Monster_Prom/
By new-to-the-2018-19-birdonfire staff, Blogger Luke Langlois
What’s the first word you think of when presented with our favorite animated restaurant owner, Mr. Krabs? It could be something like red, shiny, or even pointy-nosed. Unfortunately, the most prominent description of Mr. Krabs is “cheap.” How often do people use the word “cheap” in a good light? If you’re in need of a bag of Doritos, and a friend won’t lend a dollar, you’d call that friend cheap. If someone gets genuinely excited by a penny on the floor, they’re cheap. If your employer sells your soul for sixty-two cents, they’re cheap. By all accounts, Eugene Krabs has shown himself to be the stereotypical cheapskate. Society would like you to think that being the dictionary definition of a cheapskate is NOT a good thing. Though, is Mr. Krabs truly a cheap crab at heart? Or, is he an overly generous employer? After a brief look at some numbers, the answer is pretty clear.
Let’s take a look at the typical fast-food employee of the United States and compare it to Mr. Krab’s employees. In the United States, someone in the fast food industry is paid about $18,000 a year. In most large cities, the median rent per month for an average apartment would be at least $1,000. Without covering taxes, or any other basic need, that would amount to $12,000 a year, a majority of the salary of an average employee. Clearly, the average fast food employee does not make even close to enough to live in a safe apartment in the city while covering any other basic needs or amenities. How miserable! Who could ever work in the fast-food industry and live a fulfilled life? Spongebob and Squidward could.
Now, we can take a look at Spongebob and Squidward, Mr. Krabs’s two most loyal employees of nearly twenty years. Both of these fast-food employees are clearly able to provide for themselves. They have sizable and safe households. Besides being the owners of safe and decently sized domiciles, Spongebob and Squidward live in the outskirts of a prime city under the ocean. As far as us viewers know, there are no other major cities in existence in the Spongebob universe. Adding on to this, the most desirable homes in cities are usually the suburban ones, such as Spongebob’s pineapple or Squidward’s Easter Island Head. To sum it up, these employees live in safe and spacious homes in the prime of this aquatic metropolis. Not only that, but Spongebob and Squidward have been known to have more than just basic needs. Spongebob is well known for his expert caretaking as well as jellyfishing. Like Spongebob, Squidward is able to pursue his passions. He paints, plays the clarinet, and even takes dance lessons. These are all expensive pursuits, especially in a capitalist society! In comparison to our above-water society, Squidward and Spongebob are paid exceptionally well for their seemingly mundane jobs in the fast-food industry.
Does the point not drive itself home? Mr. Krabs, mistakenly portrayed as a cheap and horrible crab to work for, is in fact one of the most generous people you could EVER work for. If you hear anyone call Mr. Krabs cheap, sit them down and make sure their minds are forever changed.
DISCLAIMER: While Mr. Krabs pays generously and allows his two employees to live a good life, he has made a few mistakes. Luke does not personally support the following: thievery, counterfeiting, 24/7 labor, selling the souls of employees, assault of employees, jellyfish slavery, grave robbery, attempted murder, or charging people for breathing.
Editor: Bella Bier
By Claire Jenkins
The Fast and Furious franchise is known for many excellent one liners. Below are a few of my favorites:
Quotes from:
https://www.drivingline.com/articles/top-10-most-quotable-one-liners-from-fast-and-furious/
https://geeks.media/30-of-the-best-quotes-from-the-fast-and-the-furious-film-franchise-so-far
Editor: Peter Kadel
*Also, these are Peter’s favorite movies.
By Shelby Armor
When we think about Tesla, Inc., we think about their cars. And, yes, their cars are 100% electric, and have no engine whatsoever. As of April 2018, Tesla has saved 3,330,166.37 tons of CO2 emission through their vehicles alone, and the number goes up every minute. But, Tesla does so much more. While their cars are groundbreaking, they also do a lot of things that help home life, and help to create a greener environment and promote sustainable living.
In addition to having 100% electric cars, they also produce solar panels, “Powerwalls,” and solar roofs. Their solar panels have a sleek design and seamless integration into the roof. The way they operate is by connecting to the “Powerwall,” which is another creation by Tesla. The Powerwall is a 100% self-powered battery that meets all energy needs of a house on any given day. When there is a power outage, the Powerwall can sustain the house for 7+ days on the energy it has created alone. It functions by taking the solar energy that the solar panels produce during the day and storing it. They also have a Tesla app, where you can track the power that is being used and how much you still have in your home. As Tesla is big on getting a sleek look, they also created a “Solar Roof,” which essentially acts as a solar panel and blending in seamlessly to your house. The solar roof connects directly to the Powerwall to power your home. Tesla grants a lifetime warranty on the solar roof itself, which goes through the subsidiary company Solar City.
Tesla has been helping the world as well, not just the home. The Powerwall, announced in the April of 2015, and since then has been used extensively in home life and also in community service projects. Elon Musk, the creator of Tesla, actually brought 700 Powerwalls to Puerto Rico, to the “Hospital del Niño” after the hurricane to help bring care to patients who needed them. For the actual Tesla cars, they do not use one big battery, but instead use thousands of small, cylindrical, lithium-ion commodity cells, like those found in everyday electronics. They put the batteries under the floor of the vehicle. Because of this, there is more space in the trunk and interior. An example of this is that the Tesla has a “Frunk,” or a trunk in the front. If you go to the hood and open it, there will be extra space to store things, since there is no engine there.
Tesla also created something called a “supercharger.” The supercharger is a free electric charger made by Tesla that exists all over the world for Tesla owners to charge their cars. There are 7,320 superchargers globally, and they provide up to 120 kW of power, meaning it would take around 75 minutes to get a full charge. I have been a fan of Tesla since I first heard of it a few years ago. I don’t think that people realize how much Tesla does besides their cars, and I hope this sheds some light on all of the work that Tesla is doing for a green future.
Editor: Renée Vazquez
By Charles Schnell
Arrested Development is my favorite sitcom. With the release of the first half of season five on Netflix on May 29, I thought I would write a post explaining why.
To put it in the show’s own words, Arrested Development is “the story of a wealthy family who lost everything, and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together.” Enter the Bluths: a wealthy family who owns a real estate development firm named the Bluth Company. Not only are they a very wealthy family but they’re also an extremely dysfunctional family. After the CEO of the company, George Bluth Sr., runs into legal trouble, the family starts falling apart, and it’s all up to one of his four children, Michael Bluth–the “one son”–, to keep them from plunging completely off the deep end, all the while trying to keep the company afloat. So, why does keeping his family together pose a challenge for Michael? Well, once you see his family, you can understand why. His family includes a lying, lazy, selfish, indecisive twin sister whose favorite hobby is to crack open the company checkbook; an arrogant, foolish, self-centered older brother trapped within his hopeless dream of being a magician; a gullible, post-hemispherectomy younger brother who’s overly attached to his mother; and an oblivious, neurotic, ex-therapist of a brother-in-law who’s chasing his dreams of acting. These four are just a fraction of his family. And what happens when you place this dysfunctional family right in the heart of a highly satirized Newport Beach? Chaos, crime, romance, loss-of-limbs, death, and hilarity!
Arrested Development was created by Mitchell Hurwitz. The show originally began in 2003, airing on Fox. Upon the completion of its first season, the show was met with critical praise, winning six Primetime Emmys and a Golden Globe. However, due to poor marketing, the show received poor ratings. Thus, in 2005, its second season was cut from a planned twenty-two episode run to eighteen episodes, with which it was still able to garner eleven Emmy nominations and one win. A similar but more unfortunate event occurred in 2006 with its third season: twenty-two episodes became thirteen, and the show was ultimately cancelled by Fox.
Fortunately, in 2013, Netflix, who had nabbed the rights to the show, released a fourth season. Many aspects were different about this fourth season. For instance, while all the main actors were able to come back, many crew members, writers, and producers did not return. Another thing is that almost all the actors had reached new heights of fame since the original series. Jason Bateman, Will Arnett, Michael Cera, and David Cross are all Arrested Development actors that have been in multiple movies and TV shows and have become more popular since the end of the third season. Because of this, Hurwitz and the rest of the creative team had trouble working around the actors’ schedules, especially without a film budget. Thus, the fourth season had to undergo a different writing and presentation style than the original three seasons. The original series was full of scenes of the characters being together, and what made the original so great was how cleverly the writers had the characters interact with each other. The fourth season had to go a different route, since the actors’ schedules were very limiting. Thus, while there are some scenes of the Bluths together, the majority of the fourth season was written with each episode being dedicated to one of the main characters’ individual adventures. The writers decided to turn this handicap into an advantage, as they used this to structure the plot of season four in a very complex way. Season four was not ordered chronologically upon release. Because of this, the writers ended up turning season four into an intertwining, complex, out-of-order story. This fourth season eventually unfolds into a mystery storyline. And this led to the controversy of season four. Some argue that much of the charm and wit of the original series was lost, as one of the reasons the original show was so great was because of how the characters played off of each other. Others praised season four, claiming that the complex plot of season four that gradually turns into a mystery made the show much more engaging and much more than “just a comedy.” While I would agree that the show is way more than “just a comedy” even if the fourth season never happened, I really like season four. The writing is extremely clever and well thought out. I think that about the original three seasons too, but the difference is that the first three seasons are clever in a comedic sense, while the fourth season is clever more so in its plot and storytelling, while still being funny.
After five years of little news regarding a fifth season, we recently received great news. About a month ago, Mitchell Hurwitz announced that not only was season five going to be released very soon, but that he had made the Season Four Remix: a recut of season four that not only put the fourth season back into chronological order, but cut and reordered all the scenes as well, putting the season into episodes that each contained multiple characters’ stories per episode. This recut, that turned the original fifteen thirty-minute episodes of season four into a new twenty-two-episode season with each episode being twenty-two minutes, has been positively received and generally recognized as better than the original fourth season. Some have even claimed it is just as good if not better than the original series. All the complaints of a convoluted plot and character-overdose per episode are taken care of in the recut. While I agree the recut is way funnier than the original season four, I still appreciate the original for taking its production circumstances and trying to do something bold with them. Plus, the writing in the original season four is still really organized and well-thought out. (Thankfully, both season four’s are available on Netflix. The original has been tucked away in the “Trailers and More” section).
Okay, enough with season four. I want to get to why I love this show. On May 29, the first half of season five launched on Netflix. Season five continues the mystery cliffhanger left by season four. But remember, it’s still a comedy first and foremost.
The writing is extremely clever, silly, intertwining, connected, organized, and hilarious. From funny one-liners to ridiculous physical mishaps, the script of almost every episode is non-stop laughter. Every line is delivered with the exact delivery it calls for. The actors all have great chemistry with one another and, also thanks to the brilliant scripts, can play off each other well. The pacing is very rapid and works beautifully; the only problem is sometimes your laugh from one punchline will extend over another punchline. Not only are the actors’ deliveries spotless, but their facial expressions and body language are always on point, sometimes even garnering more of a laugh than the line does. The soundtrack, while not the highlight of the show, is fitting and is subtly funny in its own way. Some of the tracks become their own on-running gags. Speaking of which, I hope you like on-running gags and inside jokes because this show is chock full of them and will never hesitate to use them time and time again, even when you least expect it. Another thing I will say about the writing is while Arrested Development is first and foremost a comedy, the storyline is not horrible. Unlike numerous sitcoms, a continuous storyline actually exists and has its own little surprises, twists, and turns. And, because of the continuous storyline, this is not a sitcom where you can jump around. In order to fully understand what’s going on in an episode and all the jokes an episode might have, you must have seen all the episodes prior to that episode respectively. The storytelling becomes much more of a focus with the Netflix seasons than the original series, which provides the story as a backdrop for all the crazy comedic scenarios that occur, as well as a relief from the otherwise non-stop one-liners and on-running gags. Finally, Ron Howard is the narrator. In the first season, he more or less acts as a normal omniscient narrator. However, as the show continues, Howard starts saying more and more witty one-liners and clever, comedic quips, and he gradually becomes one of the comedic highlights of the show.
Arrested Development is a hilarious, ridiculous, absolutely crazy comedy that also knows how to tell a compelling story. This show never fails to make me laugh, and with the release of the fifth season and the upcoming summer break, I hope you will give this show a chance. For those of you who already like this show, aren’t we glad that Netflix is keeping this show alive? And for those who do not like this show… we’ll agree to disagree.
Editors: Renée Vazquez and Leo Milmet
Editor: AJ Patencio