By Renée
poems,
paintings,
petals,
sealed with a kiss.
you slowly drifted into me,
but once I was sure,
I crashed into a soft ocean,
where all I could think of was you.
Awakening Editor: Katelin Slosky
Honeybee
By Renée
how lovely it must be to walk with your soft hand in mine,
down an old beaten path,
where the only sounds we can hear are the songs of birds,
and our own laughter.
imagine,
to sit under an old tree together,
watching the world pass by us.
there might be an ocean,
or a stretch of boundless land,
keeping us apart my darling,
but never will you be far from my mind.
Happiness Editor: Chelsea Xu
Doreen’s “Happiness is . . .”
Animation by Doreen Yuan
Happiness Editor: Chelsea Xu
The Definition of Happiness
By James Zheng
So, happiness. What would be the definition of it? A state of feeling content? Achieving an ultimate goal of life? Or an existence, void, a nothingness that is unreachable? Well, this should be an open-to-opinions question. At least we know that happiness is sometimes dependent on other things.
I think, learning about happiness is based on each individual’s perspective. A thousand readers could visualize a thousand different Hamlets; a thousand individuals could also visualize their happiness in a thousand different ways. And, I think, happiness is primarily and mostly decided by one’s condition; not only that, it is also decided by desire. If you compare a wanderer and a millionaire, the difference is quite transparent. By talking about desire, it is divided into the short-term desire and long-term desire; one could be the wish for a random gift, and another could be the ambition of buying a house in Beverly Hills. One thing that is permanently the same about these two types of desire is that once you fulfill them, they would stack up. New desires would spring up. If you really bought a house in Beverly Hills, would you find your happiness there? All you have is a material presence that makes you content for a while and nothing else.
Schopenhauer has said, We cannot obtain true happiness, all we can do is reduce suffering. And he has also mentioned that most of the time suffering is driven by desires; once you fulfill these desires, you feel content yet there will be another one. If you are unable to fulfill the desire, you only feel the suffering and powerlessness. Despite Schopenhauer’s pessimistic view on happiness, I think that we could obtain happiness in some ways. Indeed, true happiness can not be acquired, but what if each individual truly spent time contemplating his life: what I have and what do I truly need for happiness? When he finds out that answer, he may find that he doesn’t need a large pack of money but just a warm family. Is happiness a material object? Or, is it a pursuit, a goal of life?
In conclusion, happiness is more a self-decided matter. Some people choose to follow their heart, while some choose to follow the reality; the difference is that one is to seek what one genuinely wants to forge happiness and another one is to find things for satisfaction that are not always for the purpose of happiness–like feeding your family. It doesn’t matter which form your pursuit of happiness takes, just slow down a second, and ask yourself, “Is this what I wanted?”
Happiness Editor: Chelsea
Doomsday
By Renée Vazquez
noun,
the last day of the world’s existence,
a time or event of crisis or great danger.
so many people thought up great stories of doomsday,
terrifying monsters,
intrepid survivors,
extraordinary natural disasters.
none of them believed that a deadly disease from the same family as the flu
could bring the world to its knees.
All we have to do is stay at home.
Meanwhile fires raged,
caused by us.
Meanwhile storms brewed,
caused by us.
Meanwhile corruption festered,
caused by us.
One might expect any one of these to be the cause of doomsday–
difficult to fight,
a reflection of our own effects on the world–
it might’ve been more poetic.
But all we have to do is stay home.
Then again,
even that may just prove too much of an indignity to some people.
Doomsday Editor: Doreen Yuan
If a Mummy Can Talk . . .
Scientific Reports published a study that describes engineering the voice of Nesyamun–an ancient Egyptian priest and scribe . . . by combining his 3D-printed mouth and throat with an artificial larynx and using speech synthesizing software.
What long-ago sound do you wish to hear, if you could engineer a way. Would you choose the voice of a loved one or important historical figure, the sounds of an extinct animal or by-gone technology, or perhaps simply the everyday sounds of a different era?
*”. . . if I could choose a sound, I would do something selfish and choose to listen to my past self. It is hard to be satisfied with life’s work sometimes, but if I looked back and listened to what a FOOL younger me was, I’d laugh at him and remember how far I’ve come. Alternatively, what did George Washington sound like?”–Luke Langlois
*”I wish I could hear the voice of a dragon, even just a mythical symbol…But I believe that voice must be very spectacular and unparalleled!”–Quintus Ni
*”One sound that I would like to hear again would be the sound of the lower school. Even though the drama could be terrible (and it was terrible) I would give anything just to go back. I miss my friends. I miss playing tag. I miss the immaturity that came with bliss.”–Katelin Slosky
*”I would listen to dinosaurs that have never been heard,
I would listen to birds and animals that have long been dead,
I would listen to the voices of leaders of the past,
I would listen to my grandfather sing.”–Renée Vazquez
*”The voices I want to hear are the voices from Alexander Hamilton and George Washington. After hearing ‘Hamilton’s’ voice from the musical I wonder what the actual Hamilton would sound like. And I’d also like to hear George Washington’s voice too since . . . he had wooden teeth.”–Chelsea Xu
*”When my mother was a child, she lived in a place where there was no fast transportation. The airport was just built. The houses were short and not solid, but there would be no earthquake, because we were in the basin. Every time I do my homework by the window at noon, she can hear the distant peddling sound downstairs and the sound of hammering: “dingding tang, dingtang…”. Dingtang is a kind of maltose with sticky teeth, which is very cheap, but it can recall her memories. I would like to hear that voice, which will bring me back to my family childhood.”–Doreen Yu
*”I want to hear John Von Wolfgang Goethe’s voice, I am exceptionally interested in his way of being both a philosopher and romanticist because most of the philosophers I have known so far would not step in the romantic realm. Reading his work Faust is like reading a compilation of Shakespeare’s poems, the way he writes and how his quotes sound most of the time makes me feel like Goethe speaks like a combination of Victor Hugo and Arthur Schopenhauer (one is a romantic writer, one is a pessimist philosopher). I would really want to hear his unique romantic way of speaking.”–James Zheng
Why I am Disappointed in the College Board
Editor Quintus, as one of his last tasks of the 2020 school year, assigned the Blog Staff the theme “Awakening.” Luke finds he’s had an “awakening” regarding the College Board’s handling of this year’s AP exams.
By Luke Langlois, AP Student
If you are a long-time reader, you would recall that I wrote a post a while ago encouraging students to take AP courses for a variety of reasons including (but not limited to), the challenge, the thrill, the actual learning, and college credit. While I still encourage students to take more challenging courses, it is because of the teachers and your peers, not the College Board. I have never been one to call out the College Board for being a greedy nonprofit (and trust me, there is plenty of that out there) because, at the end of the day, they tend to put out a strong product. Undoubtedly, these examinations favor society’s more affluent, but, for the most part, they accurately reflect how successful a student will be in college or a student’s AP course knowledge. This year, however, has been an awakening for me regarding this organization. The AP exams this year are, simply put, a poor way to measure a student’s course knowledge. Here’s why:
- A year’s worth of coursework CANNOT be accurately assessed in 45 minutes: If you are not in touch with the AP system, exams usually last three hours, and even then, the accuracy of the assessments are questioned. Due to this year’s pandemic, these exams have been cut down to 45 minutes. It almost seems comical when I write it down. Imagine condensing 180 days (or more) of instructional time to 45 minutes, or the equivalent of one class period. That is BONKERS and makes these exams so much more “luck” based. We all have weak points, and sometimes questions on assessments just don’t click with us. We answer the question, and we move on, but there are always other questions to make up for it. Not this year. If a student does not “click” with a particular literature or rhetoric passage, suck it up! If a student blanks on one calculus concept, deal with it! And, in the case of some APs, a student could be completely inept in huge chunks of the course and still get a good score for knowing how to do one part. How does that accurately measure whether you deserve college credit? Literature, for example, is testing only a prose passage. Does it matter if I read any poetry? Nope!
- Students abroad are having to take the exams in the dead hours of the night: Ever taken an exam at 1:30 a.m.? AP students in India have! Students with parents who are in the military or work traveling jobs not only have to take an AP exam in a completely new format, they have to do it at freakish times. Any test-taking guide will tell you that half the battle in a test is being comfortable with your environment. Yet, students around the world are having to disrupt their sleep schedules and take these exams tired. I understand that there are security concerns and thus the test “MUST” be administered at the same time. Would it have been so difficult for a billion-dollar organization to create a few more test problems (a test of 45 minutes, no less) to let these students take their tests at a reasonable time?
- Equity issues are exacerbated and preventing cheating is much more difficult: Imagine having to open the AP exam and upload your responses, whether it be typed or photographed, on your mom’s old phone with a barely functioning operating system. Unfortunately, this is the only device in your modest house, a house where finding a quiet place to take the exam is impossible. Now, imagine taking the exam with your phone to photograph and upload, your laptop to display your notes, and your desktop to display the prompt inside your sound-proof room on top of your spacious desk. The College Board does offer limited accommodations, but there is nothing that can truly close this gap. Now, this is intertwined with the issue of cheating because it would be incredibly easy to hire someone else to take the exam for you. I went through the security checks and, trust me, it would not be difficult to bypass that. On the same note, what happens if one of my parents is a calculus teacher? Perhaps they would be ethical, but we all know that parents have paid half a million dollars for SAT advantages; why wouldn’t a parent give their kid an advantage for free? This year, the teachers are able to view the exams, allowing them to see if the work matches the student, which may be able to counteract this to an extent, but that is certainly not foolproof. As far as student-only cheating goes, the College Board has said that there are systems in place to prevent it, and they claim to have recently caught cheaters. But, in reality, the College Board would need impossible levels of surveillance set up to truly prevent cheating. Indeed, the federal government would not even have the Constitutional authority to do what the College Board claims it is doing. It may be a minority of students participating in such devious activities, but I assure you it is enough students to ruin the integrity of already shoddy examinations.
- Exams are still full price: Each AP exam costs $94. That means you are spending over 2 dollars a minute to take an AP exam. Such value!
Look, I could go on (I did not even mention the problems students with learning differences are facing trying to get accommodations), but I hope you are awakened to at least some of the issues. The administration of this year’s AP examinations has been a serious misstep by the College Board. I do acknowledge that they are in an incredibly difficult spot, with a majority of students polled saying that they want to continue with the exams, but so much could have been done. When an organization essentially has a monopoly on the testing market, we should hold them to a higher standard.
Awakening Editor: Quintus Ni
The Diary of My Pandemic
Poets & Writers posted the following diary entry from Samuel Pepys–who lived through the Great Plague of 1665 in London.
“September 3: (Lord’s day.) Up; and put on my colored silk suit very fine, and my new periwig, bought a good while since but durst not wear, because the plague was in Westminster when I bought it; and it is a wonder what will be the fashion after the plague is done as to periwigs, for nobody will dare to buy any hair, for fear of the infection.”
I asked our bloggers to write their own short, daily journal entry on their observations and feelings about our current coronavirus pandemic. I asked, “How have your small, everyday routines been affected? How have new habits popped up? Record your musings along with feelings of loss, helplessness, anger, humor, or hope.” Here’s what they wrote.
from LUKE LANGLOIS
MARCH / APRIL / MAY ??????? WHO KNOWS – Every day is the same. One day, it’ll be Monday, and the next it’ll be Monday again… of the next week. Time all bleeds together. What is there to look forward to besides the end of my hour-long classes (sometimes we really don’t need to use the entire hour staring at each other, teachers). My dog is getting tired of me. I’m not even sure what news to trust anymore since it is pretty much all partisan in some way. One day, we will be FREE, and I better not hear anyone complain about anything ever again. Also, I bought 1,000 barrels of oil and they are being stored in a secret underground bunker. I will be an oil tycoon when the market rebounds (not really).
*********
from Quintus Ni
During these couple weeks, everything is going the same. I can’t say that’s good or bad. But sometimes it makes me feel bored, even frustrated…Because this coronavirus disturbs everything, even affects global economics..As an international student here, I heard lots of voices about this COVID-19 saying it comes from China, that it’ s definitely the Chinese at fault…well, I don’t know what can I say…The only thing I know is I’m Chinese…. I think we should learn from this coronavirus; don’t blame each other. No one wants this to happen again.
On the other hand, I feel grateful to find my “old friend.” I’m playing piano NOW. “How long has it been since we last met!!” I already learned three new songs. I remember my first time playing the piano when I was 4 years old….Every time when I feel exhausted or anxious, I will come to see my “old friend” with my fingers. He always chooses to listen to my moods, feelings, and stories which are my best memories from my childhood.
**********
from Katelin Slosky
WEEKDAYS: PAINFULLY HONEST
7:30 AM- get up bc your mom wants to wake you up at this time even though school starts at 8:30 (why tho? Was 9:30 not available? You know what, i guarantee most teenagers would be infinitely less tired if school started at 9:30 or 10 am)
8:30 AM-school starts, and your kinda just tired
9:30- you have a 30-minute break, and sure, of course, you could finish your homework for the class you just had, but why not choose to be uNprOducTiVe, and watch TikToks until you realize that your 5 minutes late for the next class
10:05-you join your next class, when your computer sends you a notification, telling you that you are low on battery. You quickly plug in your computer, and proceed to not say anything during the class because you are muted, and are unobligated to say anything.
11:00-lunch, except i don’t really eat lunch, so I just spend time in my room studying for something I will never achieve because everyone is uNsUppoRtivE, just kidding, you just don’t believe you can achieve your goal.
12:00- lunch ends, and you join your next class. Unless it’s monday, in which that is replaced by a study hall. Are you productive? No, of course not. You are surrounded by 500 tiny sheets of paper and feel obligated to make giant origami structures out of 6cmx6cm pieces of paper
1:30: Your last class starts and you join your last class. If it’s a wednesday and that class is English class, you live in fear that Mr. Griffin will ask the class a question and no one will respond, making YOU feel obligated to answer the question. And of course you can’t do that, you didn’t understand the ‘themes of the scarlet ibis’ either.
2:30: Last class. If it was advisory, it ended at 2:00. Are you going to do your homework? Of course not. Instead you eat chips and wonder, if you washed out the chip bag, you could make an origami star out of that material.
3:00- may or may not have violin. May or may not have practiced. Don’t worry, i practiced this week. Once. practice is not guaranteed for next week.
11:00 pm – spent time on homework. An hour at most. I have more pressing matters to attend to, such as re-organizing my washi tape collection.
**********
from Anonymous
April 30
ever since this plague started I have spiraled out of control. it’s not like this is new to me, “don’t go outside, no visitors over one person and they have to really disinfect, an infection could kill you”, except I’m not a couple days fresh out of surgery. I’m feeling like I am though. Life was already feeling like it was a chaotic mess out of my control, and then this happened. I’m stuck inside, unable to do much, unsure why my brain panics and deletes information. With my dad. He hasn’t talked to me in two days now, and I genuinely don’t know what I did wrong. He roped me into a heated conversation between him and my mum, then cornered me until I admitted that I would like him to yell less. Then he yelled that we were awful, and all that jazz about no other man being as good a father as him, and how (with my personality) no one would ever truly love me as much as him, after he died I would be on my own because my mum is “incompetent”, ya know the usual. He’s probably not wrong, I am extraordinarily annoying. At this point it’s getting harder and harder to live with him, I mean he’s always been like that, but now I don’t have any physical escape. I’m trying to hold on, but everyday it’s getting harder to get up in the morning. Again, this situation isn’t super new personally, but I thought I was done staying at home because of my health, and then this happened….. Oh well, right?
signing off
**********
from Chelsea
Hello, today is April 5th, 2020. Still under quarantine. It has been a week or so, since I last updated, and yea, the coronavirus is still going on…..you know it’s getting kind of worse….North America and Europe are getting worse like whoosh! Skyrocketed. And yea, want to let you guys know I’m doing well.
This is pretty new but like…In the future maybe someone will see this and you know, this is under some historical files of the future I don’t know…that’ll be cool though. Life is going well, it’s pretty normal for me, I usually go for a walk or so each day. Sometimes, everyday, yea. But the government had ordered us not to go out, if we can. And I’m limiting walking times as well, I mean, I’m okay with staying in, nothing much else happened. So yea, that’s pretty much my blog, see you next time. Hopefully this will get over soon, sayonara.
**********
from James Zheng
1th day of quarantining:
I feel like nothing has changed, it is just that life is in a different mode. We are not allowed to go out? Would that be better since we got more time to do things we want at home.
2nd day of quarantining:
I have stayed up a bit, feel like this quarantining could change my sleeping routine. And got the first call from my father, he is eager to talk about the date I am leaving America.
3rd day of quarantining:
Maybe I should buy some books and dumb bells to kill my time. Got a phone call from my father again, he seems kinda angry when he is talking about the news.
4th day of quarantining:
I feel like my mood has been ruined by this plague, why? I was imagning if this goes on for a while, my plan of traveling in summer is doomed.
5th day of quarantining:
Such a good day, my father is paranoid with the plague due to the overloading of news and the increasing number of infections in America… It was understandable for him to be in that way but I almost got into a fight with him.
6th day of quarantine:
Feel like video games are so boring, there is nothing I want to do… everything is becoming so boring, don’t mind if I end here.
7th day of quarantine:
Again, having a conversation with my father about the future plan, we talked a lot, but mostly his complaints about Trump…
10th day of quarantine:
Woohoo! My books are here! Now I got something to do.
14th day of quarantine:
I can clearly see this intense dark outline around my eyes… better go back to the normal sleeping routine.
15th of quarantine: it is only two weeks, but the numbers are just rising at an uncontrollable rate… and again I have got nothing to do… I want to play basketball (gazing at the ball in the corner).
20th of quarantine: Yep, nothing has really changed, except the new books I can’t understand at all, my boredom with video games, and the boredom that gets on me everyday. Well, i am gonna just end here, gotta take a call from my father…
**********
from Ms. Zachik
April 30: This morning, while outside journaling, I heard sirens approaching. They grew closer and closer, until they came directly up my street. A firetruck and ambulance stopped just a few houses up. The paramedics and firemen (they were all men) unloaded gear, suited up in masks and gloves and impenetrable jackets, and filed into the house. I was peering over the fence. Two pushed a gurney up the drive and inside. Within minutes, they filed back out, and along came my neighbor, seated, on the gurney. “Are you taking any medications?” I heard the paramedic ask. They lifted her in the ambulance. No one else came down the drive to watch her anxiously as she was driven away. She was alone.
Share you own observations @ thebirdonfire.org.
My Happiness—Always remember “us” this way
By Quintus Ni
I remember once my grandma told me that being close is a kind of warmth, and sometimes a gentle glance, a simple greeting that can make the hearts rely on each other through the long years.
There have always been some longings in the world. You smile at me, I hug you back, that’s when we start to understand each other, and our lonely souls are no more feeling cold. Even though some encounters don’t last long, the fragrance in the heart still lingers.
We are all lonely people on this lonely road; even a hero needs company. Under the roof of endless time, I hope there could be someone who has elegance deep inside, so we could cherish each other only because of pure appreciation and the ability of feeling each other’s heart, not because of romance and lust.
The encounters in the world are both random and predestined.
In the stream of time, we are all late arrivals.
Who’s the one standing on the water edge writing down his missing poem? Who’s the one longing to get back to the time when we talk into the deepest night? How many times and poems does it take to let two hearts warm together?
Sometimes, you go through a lot of trouble to find someone, but the person who is holding on to you never comes; however, the person you are destined to be with is smiling at you at the next junction of life.
We all get a chance to meet each other and to stay with each other. The chances come and go. There are times you try hard to leave the one who is always holding you dear. There are times the one you hold dear has never wanted you near.
It’s hard to meet someone in your life who understands you; sometimes all you’re thinking about is a name and an expectation.
Time is a blossoming tree. It spreads its fragrance when the wind comes. Memories can be framed into a picture and written into a poem with your heart, and every time you think on them, you’ll be touched by the encounters again.
Pure love is hard to find. If you meet a ray of sunshine, you can have a bright season, and if you can meet the right person, you can be warm for life.
The best encounter should be between two clear hearts and in the warmth of time. The simplest companionship is to be with the one you love, and the most beautiful encounter is to walk through thousands of mountains and rivers, through the wind and smoke of the years. I can still remember your smile.
Time is beautiful. If I plant a sun in the spring, I get to be warmed when winter comes.
As time passes, we’ve been meeting with each other. There are always some people, who refuse to throw away a withered flower and refuse to close the umbrella even when the rain stops. There’s always some cherishing, hidden deep in the silence, accumulating strength in loneliness.
How are we to speak if we are far from each other? The best love can make the lonely soul bloom. Every life needs warmth and companionship. How can you forget falling at the first sight? The tenderness and bravery of love are all just for putting love and sunshine somewhere with you.
The beauty of life lies in the encounters. Perhaps the life paths and the people I’ll meet are already written in the plan of the universe, but, still, I look forward to meeting someone whose heart string plays the same way with mine, even if I only get a smile, that’s enough beauty for me to remember. And to meet someone who understands, even if I only get a glance, that’s enough treasure for me.
The best encounter is to hide love deep in your heart and only wish each other well. If you can meet the right person in your life that would be like meditating under flowers, which paints a beautiful base and gives kind warmth for the time. After years of climbing and wading, there will always be a person in your heart, who has been there forever and silently warms your life.
Happiness Editor: Chelsea
Air Fluffs
By Luke Langlois
When I was tasked with writing about happiness, I had no idea what to write about. Obviously, happiness is different for everyone, and, sometimes, we’re not even sure what happiness feels like when we truly are happy. So, I consulted an outsider, ex-blogger Claire Jenkins, for an idea. Being the purveyor of happiness and the pilot she is, she said to write about “clouds or something.” Perfect. While they are not going to buy you a new car, clouds are fascinating, and a beautiful strain of clouds is bound to make you stop and take a look. Moreover, unless you are fresh out of a science class (or pilot training), it is likely that you have forgotten your cloud types! Let us take a scientific look at the types of clouds that can roam the air with some lovely examples that hopefully make you want to look to the skies yourself.
- Cumulus clouds are the “figurehead” of clouds. They are sometimes known as the “fair weather” cloud because they appear on clear, sunny days when the sun is able to heat the ground directly below. If you can see these clouds, be grateful because you are experiencing some swell weather.
- Stratus clouds may not represent happiness to most of the world’s population because they cover up the sky and hang low. Luckily for us desert folk, stratus clouds represent light mist or a drizzle of rain, so they should represent happiness because everyone loves a bit of water.
- Stratocumulus clouds are a bit of a hybrid between the above two (given the name). They cover the sky, but not as wholly as the stratus clouds. Stratocumulus clouds leave gaps in the sky where blue peeks through. These clouds are seen on days of low atmospheric convection.
- Altocumulus clouds are smaller fluff puffs in the sky. They are often confused with stratocumulus, but they do not cover as much of the sky and the individual clouds are smaller. These are not a frequent sighting in the desert, as they usually appear on hot and humid days when a thunderstorm or cold front is to follow.
- Nimbostratus clouds are THE rain or snow cloud. They’re dark, hazy, and ominous-looking, but they are absolutely majestic.
- Cirrus clouds, Latin for “curl of hair” clouds, are thin wisps of ice crystals that streak above 20,000 feet (an altitude with low temperatures and low amounts of water vapor). They usually appear in fair weather, but they can indicate warm fronts or perhaps even a cyclone, not exactly a reliable measure of what is to come.
- Cirrocumulus clouds cannot be well-described outside of a picture. They are small white patches of clouds that “live” in high altitudes like the cirrus clouds. Some say they look like small grains dotting the sky. These clouds tend to appear in cold, but fair, weather.
- Cirrostratus clouds are white-ish and transparent clouds that cover the entire sky. It may be hard to identify the clouds by the clouds themselves, but cirrostratus clouds form a halo around the sun or moon due to the refraction of the light on the ice-crystals that make up the clouds. They indicate a large amount of moisture in the upper atmosphere or a potential warm front.
- Cumulonimbus clouds are the proper behemoths of the cloud family. They are one of the few clouds that span the low, middle, and higher layers of the atmosphere. They generally resemble the cumulus clouds (from which they originate), but they rise and expand further upwards and downwards. These clouds are thunderstorm clouds and can indicate short periods of severe weather.
- Bonus: Lenticular clouds are a rare formation, forming downwind of an “obstacle” in the path of a strong air current. They often form near mountainous regions because mountains can often be the “obstacle” required for formation.
If you have read this and are not a science teacher, pilot, or general cloud enthusiast, there is no doubt that you have learned something. Congratulations, you have officially had a productive day! I now encourage you to go outside and spot these clouds with your own eyes, predict the weather, or just relax. If it’s a cloudless sky, which it often seems to be as we descend into 100-degree weather, then you can go and be rightfully sad.
Source
Happiness Editor: Chelsea Xu
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