The Bird is the Word: Sophisticated Schoolyard Shenanigans
We asked members of our Class of ’25 to sum up how their senior year is going so far. They created collages. We’ll start with seniors Zachary Kazmouz, Mirabelle Lee, and Lily Jones.
Stay tuned for more updates from our PVS Senior Class of ’25.
We are off for the summer. Please, join us again in August for more thebirdonfire.org content, fun, alumni guests, opinions, compilations, surveys, poems, flashbacks, sports, music, etc.
Fondly,
thebirdonfire.org Bloggers
A compilation of “Forget-me-nots” by 8th-Grader Jackie Padgett
I find it very difficult to remember things, especially things from when I was younger, so I decided I wanted to do a “Don’t forget” or “Remember you said this” type of blog. I was also interested in what people of different ages wanted to remember. So, I asked two questions of two kids from every grade:
Starting us off is…
“My dog, I think.”
“I don’t know, umm, I don’t know… oh, uh, I’m good at basketball, wait, no, actually sure.”
“I never wanna forget my friends.”
“My attitude.”
”When I ate that breakfast burrito from the gas station it kinda hurt if you know what I mean.”
”That I hold the record for the fastest unrecorded time of solving the Rubik’s Cube. Joking.”
“I don’t want to ever forget about my friends, even when they move away.”
“I don’t want people to forget the things we laughed and cried about together.”
“The time I built a trailer for a gokart with my cousin and then having him shoot a bow and arrow off of it.”
“I don’t really care if people forget about me.”
“Umm, when I was born.”
“Umm, that I was alive and a human on this planet.”
“My times tables.”
”That I remembered my times tables.”
“I don’t want to forget my imagination. I love that I have a sense of, um, creativity.”
“Ugh. I guess I hope people don’t forget that I care about them.”
“Sports.”
”Sports.”
“What got me to where I am.”
Louisa inserted, ”Your sparkle!”
“My friends and family.”
”My gaming abilities.”
“My friends.”
”Me altogether.”
“My I.D. and glasses.”
2. What is something you don’t want people to forget about you?
”That I’m not a horrible person.”
“My lovely experiences.”
”That I existed.”
I was actually surprised to get a few serious answers. I really thought most of them would be jokes. Since the way I chose people was completely at random (and whomever I saw first), if I didn’t get to you, leave a comment of something you don’t want to forget.
By 8th-grader Jackie Padgett
During Spring Break, I decided to accept the invitation to go skiing with my friend. Last time I skied it wasn’t necessarily bad – but that was almost three years ago. I was also not prepared at all and that led to my, not so great, skiing experience that wasn’t even necessarily skiing as I… walked down a slope. After looking back at this trip, I have found three main reasons that led me to tread down that mountain:
1) Equipment,
2) Personality,
3) Technique.
Don’t feel bad about laughing in any part of this story; I survived the humiliation and danger.
So our trip started with us driving 10-12 hours up to Salt Lake City, Utah, and if you’ve ever been in a car that long, it could be the best or worst experience. Luckily, this one was good. We stopped in Las Vegas for a bit, went to Area 15 for the interactive art in Omega Mart and stopped at a Terrible’s gas station.
Once we made it to my friend’s house in Utah (which feels like years away from civilization), we needed to prepare for skiing the next day.
For skiing, you have the basic ski equipment: the skis, the boots, the pants, the sweaters, the jackets, the mask, the goggles, the helmet, and the poles. With skis, you preferably want them as long as the length of your foot to your nose or eyes (from what I’ve heard). Last time I skied, I was 11. I have grown quite a bit in those two years, so my old skis are too short. Similarly with my boots, they’re too small now. Luckily my friend has two older brothers, who weren’t on that trip with us, so we decided that I would use a pair of their skis. My friend and her brothers all have their skis and boots “tailored” to fit perfectly, so whichever boots fit me would relate to what skis I would be wearing. I ended up having skis a couple inches taller than me, not too bad, but it did make it more difficult to turn which also helps you slow down (this will be important later). The other equipment was fine. The goggles were a little big, which got snow in my eyes a couple of times–but that was okay.
If you don’t know me well, then you probably don’t know that I’m scared of falling and that I’m very “risk averse” (as my friend likes to say). These two things aren’t great when going down a ski slope. When you ski, there are different tiers of slopes: you have the greens which are pretty flat and easy, the blues which are a little harder and less flat, the blacks which are vertical slopes with moguls (little bumps in the mountain that are fun to some people), and finally there are the double blacks which I don’t even know how to explain–they are just like the black slopes but 10 times worse.
Once we made it on the lift, up to the slope, I started to panic. Below me, I saw people wipe out left and right and others speeding straight down the slope. There were very different people on very different levels with very different techniques. Once we got off the lift and I looked down the slope (after watching my friend easily ski down it), I felt more relaxed. So, I started skiing down doing my little swerves across the mountain, but I wasn’t really turning fast enough, so my “free fall” moment was too long, which made me go faster, which I didn’t want to do.
The problem was that the snow was pretty slushy, and I had never skied during slushy snow season before. I had never skied in the spring. So, I was pretty inexperienced in this type of snow, and, instead of turning, I would go straight down as my skis would get caught in the slushy snow. Being the wise and professional skier that I totally am not, I panicked and went into pizza mode which eventually let me pull off to the side of the slope, and I just stopped. I definitely thought I was going to go off the mountain when I reached the side. I was literally eight feet away from the “point of no return” rope (that’s what I like to call it). Then, and this is kind of embarrassing, my friend’s mom was like, “You got this! You made it down almost half way! Hooray!” and blah blah blah, super supportive, very kind, but I was not going down that mountain. So I just refused to move! Isn’t that great?! My friend’s mom eventually got fed up with me standing still for what felt like years, so she took off my skis and went straight down the mountain with them and waited for me at the end. Then, of course, I took the walk of shame, and had many people come up to me asking what in the world I was doing and what happened to my skis. After that walk, I retrieved my skis, and I skied down the rest of the run (the area was much flatter, I think; I really don’t remember it much at all).
After I made it down the entire slope, we went into the little lodge where they had a buffet and I got myself a pumpkin bread, my absolute favorite (though this version put too much nutmeg in it, so it was pretty intense). I walked around while my friend and her mom skied five or so more slopes without me. I was very glad I didn’t have to continue. Have you had any embarrassing moments like this? I’d love to know so I don’t have to feel like too much of a coward.
By 8th-Grade Blogger Jack Edelstein
As Spring colorfully rolls in, I often look forward to many things: more daylight, vibrant flowers, blue skies, and a nice middle ground between hot summers and chilly winters. But, what I look forward to the most is The Masters. The Masters is the most prestigious tournament in golf; every person who plays golf wishes to go or even play in The Masters because of how iconic it is. Here is this rich, history-filled event.
The Masters is held in the very exclusive Augusta National Golf Club in Augusta, Georgia, about 150 miles east of Atlanta. The Masters generally happens during April; this year it was April 11-14.
Founded by golf legend Bobby Jones and investment banker Clifford Roberts, who also served as former chairman of The Masters (1934-1976), the first ever “Masters” happened in 1934. At the time it was not called The Masters, instead it was the “Augusta National Invitation Tournament” because Bobby Jones thought that “The Masters” was too egotistical (masters.com). It was then changed to The Masters after five years (1939).
The Winner of The Masters is presented with the The Green Jacket. The Green Jacket does not just represent The Masters; it represents the honor of being a Masters champion. The tradition of The Green Jacket dates back to 1937 when the members of Augusta National Golf Club wore them to allow tournament patrons to identify the club members (masters.com). Then, in 1949, Sam Snead became the first Masters champion to be presented with The Green Jacket (masters.com). Only the winner of The Masters can take The Jacket outside of Augusta National Golf Club property. The Jackets were made by Brooks Uniform Company in New York City until 1967 when the Hamilton Tailoring Company in Cincinnati, Ohio, took over The Jacket construction (galvingreen.com). The Jackets are a Masters Green with gold buttons engraved with the Augusta National Logo. The finishing touch is an embroidered patch with the logo on the left breast pocket (masters.com).
When The Masters began, Clifford Roberts realized that feeding the crowd that came would be necessary. At the time, The Masters was still a new event, so the organizers used the residents of Augusta kitchens to make cheap, easy-to-make sandwiches, snacks, and drinks (masters.com).
“We want the experience to not only be the best but to be affordable. And we take certain things very, very seriously. Like the cost of a pimento cheese sandwich is just as important as how the second cut (of grass) is going to be.” – Augusta National Chairman Billy Payne, 2007 (masters.com).
I’ve tried the sandwich flavors, and I think the Pimento Cheese is the best with the Pork Bar-B-Que being a close second.
Amen Corner consists of holes White Dogwood (hole No. 11), Golden Bell (No. 12), and Azalea (No. 13). This tricky three-hole stretch can determine a player’s score. These holes have notable water features, and only three players have ever aced (hole-in-one) at Amen Corner. Another significant part of Amen Corner is the two bridges going over the water: The Hogan Bridge, named after two-time Masters champion Ben Hogan and The Nelson Bridge, named after Bryon Nelson, another two-time Masters champion (masters.com).
Players will over time become familiar with secrets of this tournament. The most notable players have been Jack Nicklaus with six wins and Tiger Woods (my favorite athlete of all time) with five. Nicklaus was the first player to win The Masters back-to-back (1965 and 1966) and the first to win it three times (1963, 1965, and 1966).
Tiger won in 1997, 2001, 2002, 2005, and his “get back” win in 2019 (masters.com). In his first Masters win (1997), he won with a historical 12-stroke lead. Then he had back-to-back wins in 2001 and 2002. Then, after his win in 2005, Tiger had arguably his most iconic Masters in 2019 when after 14 years of controversy and poor golf, Tiger came back in his ever iconic Sunday Red and won it all. Fun fact, when Tiger first won The Masters (1997), Augusta National didn’t have a jacket small enough for him.
The Masters defines what it means to be a champion. This tournament is the greatest challenge in golf, and that’s why the players love this course. It is a great honor to have your name in the history books as a Masters champion, and for 88 years players have tirelessly competed for it. In the words of three-time Masters Competitor Mac O’Grady, “This is where God hangs out.” Let us know what you think of The Masters in the comments.
By Gil Maruvada, Senior
Yeah, I’m sure you didn’t expect this from me, but I think knowing things is overrated. Look, I know a number of things, but I think it’s far more helpful not to know things; honestly, most of the time you can scrape by just guessing.
I’m not going to advocate pretending you know more than you do through blind guesswork, but what I am saying is that knowledge in an absolute sense is entirely overrated. Let me give an example: say you’re trapped in a maze–what’ll help you more, knowing exactly how to get out, or how to solve mazes in general? Of course, the exact instructions will get you out faster, but let’s say you’re in a different maze now; well, you’re going to wish you had chosen the more general knowledge. See, that’s what I mean when I say that knowing things is overrated; knowing a lot about a little is sometimes worse than knowing a little about a lot. Everything is connected. If you understand those connections well enough you can understand them on the fly in your head, even if you don’t “know” exactly what they are.
Knowing things has absolutely nothing to do with being able to figure things out. And, does knowing things have any real value anyway? Well, here’s what Socrates had to say, “All I know is that I know nothing.” If Socrates didn’t know anything, what hope do we have? You never really know anything about anything. Maybe you just made it all up? Here’s an article from Nature, “Subjective signal strength distinguishes reality from imagination“; essentially what it says is that there is a “reality threshold” at which your brain perceives something to be real, and real or imagined stimulus can sometimes cross that threshold. You know that time you could have sworn you heard a noise, or when you saw something unusual out of the corner of your eye, but when you looked, it was gone? Some might call this one of the perils of humans having an overactive imagination, but I would hazard to guess that it’s simply due to a reality that lacks sufficient stimulus.
One of the oldest thought experiments in philosophy is the idea of a philosophical zombie; essentially what it says is that if there was a thing that wasn’t conscious in any meaningful way but reacted in the same way a conscious being did, how would you be able to tell the difference? Your friends, your family, everyone you know, and everyone you ever met, if they were all philosophical zombies, how could you tell? There isn’t even a foolproof way of knowing anyone outside of yourself is conscious. You trust what a neuroscientist says about the brain, but have you ever seen a brain? Do you know how the machinery works? the physical laws it’s based on? Of course, you don’t. You can’t be expected to know everything either. The only thing you can do is say with some confidence that something is true or false, it exists or it doesn’t. But, let’s be honest; you’ll never really know what is real and what isn’t; you’ll never really know anything. It’s all just your best guess, and that might be enough.
Now, it’s time for me to come clean. Everything in this article is a foregone conclusion I wanted to reach simply by writing the title. I just wrote the title, “Why Knowing Things is Overrated,” and then decided how the article would go. Sure, I cited sources, but only to fit conclusions I’d already drawn by the time of writing. It’s all a narrative that had been formed in my mind from figments and illusions far before any of it was written or researched. I don’t know anything. Now, you might feel betrayed by this revelation, or maybe you saw it coming, but, hey, it’s all just a guess anyway. Remember, you don’t know what you know, and doubly so for what you don’t know. And, I’ll see you later. Bye.
By Senior Jess Billimore
In the springtime haze, there is a breeze,
Petals dance around with ease, breathtaking sunsets,
My love for spring is true, each beginning is new,
Birds sing melodies, sweet and serene,
Living like this feels like a dream, when the day ends i take a sigh,
An array of colors kiss the sky, i envy the birds as they fly,
Lost in spring, nature’s hush,
Each day i feel a rush, butterflies dance in the soft sunlight,
And my dreams take flight.
By Freshman Louisa Richardson
If I have learned anything as a “professional” surveyor, it is that the kids at Palm Valley have strong opinions. Most opinions are very original and unique, often controversial as well. What better way to get the kids talking than to ask them, “What, in your opinion, is overrated?”
*Disclaimer: Yes, I know that Taylor Swift is overrated; this is NOT original, and since everyone had that as an answer, it will not be included in the following responses.
8th-grader Tony Ratner states, “TikTok is overrated. No one really thinks it’s good; it’s just an addiction.”
Freshman Rylie Conway says, “6th grade girls are too loud, specifically in Sephora’s. If they were a bird, it would be an angry seagull.”
6th-grader Morgan Richardson says, “Bacon is too hard to cook just right and is therefore overrated; I’d rather have a sausage.”
Freshman Brooklyn Hatrak states, “Mr. Satterfield deserves the same hype as Mr. Killeen; he is really underrated.”
Ms. Melissa Patino (the kind woman at the front desk in the high school–our Administrative Assistant) says, “Crocs are overrated; they were never stylish to begin with. I doubt anyone has ever liked them; they just liked the little fidgets.”
When I asked Freshman Pip Watson what’s overrated, he answered, “Drake’s music videos.”
Freshman Zander Eaton says Kanye West is overrated “because everyone glazes him, and he hasn’t made a good album since 2014.”
Junior Rachel De La O states (in a sarcastic tone), “Women’s rights are overrated. I want to go back to the kitchen. All this education is confusing, but I know how to cook! Take me back.”
8th-grader Alex Kirov says, “Dinosaurs are overrated. I mean ‘rawr rawr’; stop writing movies that aren’t even correct, and cry about it.”
Freshman Leah Ferreira says “Human rights” are overrated. “I don’t know why; I just want to go to sleep and never wake up.” I think she was having an existential crisis. Note: I talk to Leah quite a bit, no need for concern; she is okay.
Though this article turned out to be a bit more depressing than I had hoped, I can confidently say that I agree with ALMOST all of these opinions (especially the dinosaur one). Do you have any overrated opinions?
By Jack Edelstein, 8th Grader
On our theme of “Underrated/Overrated,” Jack says the following cars–to borrow from comedian Rodney Dangerfield–don’t get enough “respect.”
When I overhear (more like eavesdropping) a conversation about cars, I always hear about the mainstream Lamborghini Huracan or the Ford Mustang. Although these cars are good in their own right, here are some cars that I think are not discussed enough in these conversations.
What makes the AMG Hammer special is that it was one of the first sedans that could compete with Porsche’s 911, Ferrari’s Testarossa, and Lamborghini’s Countach, all while being practical and comfortable. In order for you to get one of these “super sedans,” you would need to buy an E class from Mercedes, then buy the parts from AMG, and finally retrofit the AMG parts onto the E class. You also had the choice of three V8’s: 5.0L, 5.6L, and a 6.0L–the 6.0L being the quickest with a 0-60 time of 5 seconds and producing the most horsepower at 375 (hotcars.com). This very expensive process would have cost a whopping $161,000 or $452,862 in today’s money (in2013dollars.com). As you can tell by how much it would’ve cost to buy these, not a lot were made; only 30 units were ever sold. I don’t think this car is talked about enough; it was one of the first cars that was efficient and comfortable and could still beat top sports/super car companies.
The Porsche 959 has a very interesting story behind it. The 959 was built on a 911 chassis but had a four wheel drive system, more streamlined design, and a 444 horsepower twin-turbocharged flat 6 paired with a manual 6 speed transmission (caranddriver.com). The 959 was made to actually compete on the dirt, more specifically the Group B Rally Class, but in order to qualify, you would have to make 200 road-legal units of your car. Unfortunately though, by the time the 959 went into production in 1986, Group B had been ended by the FIA (Fédération Internationale de l’Automobile). The 959 did compete in the Paris-Dakar race, which it won both times when it competed in the 1984 and 1986 races (evo.co.uk). Even though this was a race car, it was actually pretty easy to drive because of the very advanced electronically controlled suspension system and four wheel drive system. Fun fact about this car, Bill Gates owns one of the 292 units manufactured. The 959 would have cost you $227,000 or $642,737 today. This car isn’t discussed enough even though its technology was 20 years ahead of its time.
In the early 2000s, Porsche had released their crossover SUV “soccer mom” car, the Cayenne. Many thought that the German powerhouse had gone soft, until they came out with the Carrera GT. The GT brings easy driveability to the supercar world because of its advanced suspension system and full carbon fiber chassis. It’s also a convertible, which makes it even more notable. You are able to take the hardtop off and enjoy the 605 horsepower mid-engine aluminum V10 paired with a 6-speed manual blowing in your hair; it seems like Porsche adopted the “California style” of supercar, right? To own this magnificent car, you would have needed to pay $448,400 or $735,976 in today’s money. There really isn’t any other car like the Carrera GT; that’s what makes it so special.
Those are the three cars which I think are not discussed enough in conversations about cars. Let us know in the comments which cars you think are underrated.
By Sophomore Oliver Martinez
Spring is officially here; now we can see some plant growth; snow is melting and going away, and we are entering warmer times. However, there are some downsides to warmer spring weather–like awful allergies. I’ve personally started to feel these allergies, and that makes me like spring less. Still, to celebrate spring’s arrival, I’ve made my rankings from worst to best of the seasons of the year.
Autumn is in my opinion very boring and the least eventful time of the year. Plants start to lose their leaves, which not only is really sad to see, it just makes it worse that it’s so windy so the leaves go all over the place. It makes it a pain to clean them up. On top of that, this is that sad time of year when school starts. Another thing I dislike about Autumn, weirdly, is the name. Autumn is such a weird name. I don’t know how to explain it, but it sounds so… artificial. Also, I hear people say they like the colors. I think there is nothing to like about them. Orange and yellow are lame colors. There are many that are far better than that.
Spring was close to going into last place, but I think it’s slightly better than Autumn. My main reason for disliking the season is that during Spring, allergies come around. I swear I haven’t gone a year of my life without getting allergies during Spring. They’re the most annoying thing ever. I hate them so much. I hate going to sleep knowing that I’m going to have to breathe through my mouth. It’s also really annoying to have a stuffy nose and, worst of all, a sore throat. I think that after COVID-19 came around, allergies automatically became three times worse. Now, whenever I wake up with a sore throat, I immediately assume I have COVID-19, and it’s really annoying. One reason why spring isn’t the worst season is because of the rebirth of plants and trees. It’s nice to see bright colors for once. And, it’s nice to see the different flowers that sprout during this season.
2. Winter
I think Winter is a really good season. I like the cold weather, and I like the overall vibe of this season. I’m not entirely sure why, but people are generally much nicer and happier during Winter. It may be because of holidays, vacations, discounts in shopping, etc. It’s always nice to see people happy. On top of that, winter gives me an excuse to buy more hoodies. Then, since it’s the end of the year, there are a lot of things getting announced for the upcoming year: like movies, games, music, etc. I also like the plans that sports associations have during these times. Like the NBA games during the end of the year are way more fun to watch. They’re a lot more exciting, and teams are releasing limited edition merchandise along with stadium giveaways. And, to top it all off, we get two weeks of break during Christmas and New Year’s which is awesome. Overall, winter is so great because of all the awesome things that are going on at once – the ambience, how people behave, and because of the time we get off from school.
1. Summer
My absolute favorite season of the year is Summer. Although I prefer the colder weather, Summer is just so fun. First of all, we get two months off of school, which is a big plus. I actually don’t mind the heat too much; I know it gets pretty hot, but waking up late and knowing there’s no school for some time is really nice. I have so much free time during summer, I start exploring different things that I thought I would never do. Last summer I read three books, which surprised me because I hadn’t seriously read a book in so long. I like playing basketball at night, and the best part is that all my friends are available to play because there’s no school or homework. I like that I don’t have to go to sleep early because I won’t have to go to school the next day. Allergies are generally not as common during Summer, and (at least for me) getting sick is rare. We also sometimes go on a trip somewhere which is really fun, even if it’s not too far. And, lastly, the NBA playoffs come during summer around mid-late June. It’s so fun watching the games live, and it’s very exciting because all the teams just play so much better during the playoffs. On top of that, it’s fun to find out what team will win the championship. One thing overrated about Summer is going to the beach. I think that going to the beach is overrated and more of an inconvenience because of how dirty you get and how absurdly crowded it is. Overall, Summer is the best season because of vacation off school, the warm weather, the free time, spending time with friends and because of the sports.
I think my list is pretty accurate; maybe it would change once I graduate because there won’t be vacation off school anymore, but for now this is my definitive list of the worst to best seasons of the year. Would you change anything on this list? Let me know in the comments.
*Apparently, the opinions expressed by Oliver Martinez do not express the overall opinions of thebirdonfire.org (especially not Louisa’s).