Still Afraid of the Dark? There’s More To Be Afraid Of – According to PVS Lower Schoolers

By Freshman Louisa Richardson

If you’ve read my colleague Jackie Padgett’s post about phobias, some people are afraid of clowns, some of tight spaces, some of balloons. I was always afraid of heights. However, something I never feared was cheese–which appears a rampant fear on the Palm Valley campus. Believe it or not, there are Firebird Scholars afraid of cheese on their hamburgers. Fear depends on the person, and, in many cases, their stage of life. I thought that it might be nice to give the middle/upper schoolers a break from my interviewing persistence. So, I took my investigative journalism to the Lower School (with Ms. Spurlock’s permission, of course). Over the course of my surveying, I tried to get as much Lower-School representation as possible, and, in the end, it was revealed what the overall greatest fear in the Lower School is.

In first grade, ten kids stated that, yes, their greatest fear was cheese on their hamburger though they never really specified why; they were too busy screaming over cheese on their hamburger. They were all afraid of roller coasters (to some degree). And, a few of them were afraid of spiders and snakes.

In the 2nd grade, almost every student was afraid of losing their parents. Others were afraid of losing their spine. However, there were still a few of them who were afraid of snakes and spiders.

In the 4th grade, the number one fear of students was meeting their exes and being depressed. One student, Sheldon Kirsh, is afraid of facing all 15 of his exes. The #2 fear was “a skibidi toilet” (stated by student Thomas Washington–then they all jumped in agreeing). I have no idea what that means, but I have been told I don’t want to know. . . .

In the 5th grade, there were many surprising fears, from “being decapitated” to “being unarmed and busted.” The most votes went for small holes, spiders, and snakes. One student shared the idea that she is scared of the holes in the beach. “I hate the little holes that the critters come out of,” said Lena Kakoussian. 

Overall, there were around 30 Lower-School students afraid of spiders and snakes (it is a package deal apparently); ten kids afraid of cheese on their hamburger (all in first grade); and every single one of them (except the 1st graders) was afraid of losing their parents to some degree. In my opinion, this should be the greatest fear as many of the kids my age and older are also afraid of this. 

Note: I will say that a lot of these kids were afraid of not being able to medal in their sport or were afraid of bad grades. I won’t name these kids, but parents please let your elementary-school children know that your whole life shouldn’t revolve around a sport or a grade. 

*No Lower Schoolers were scared in the gathering of this “fearful” information. Louisa, however, was quite scared.