The Bird on Fire staff bloggers are tasked with writing about a cause. Here, Levi opts to go after the glue that holds together our society–politeness and small talk. It nearly goes without saying, the opinions of Levi do not necessarily represent the views of The Bird on Fire.
Blog Advisor Zachik
By Levi Kassinove, Junior
Dear Readers, given the comprehensive, semi-scientific post of last week, I feel you deserve a break. It’s time for a lighthearted post about why polite people are living a lie.
— Levi
Recently, on vacation, my friends and I were walking outside at night in the desert. Without giving too many details so as to not embarrass anyone, there were scorpions roaming around, and we needed a UV light to see them. We did not have a UV light. We walked around nonchalantly, accepting our situation, until a lady walked up to us and offered to let us borrow her UV flashlight. One of my friends fought absolute TOOTH AND NAIL for her to not give it to us. My friend repeatedly told her, “Oh you don’t have to, you really don’t have to,” to which the lady responded, “I insist. You guys are children and you should have fun.” This exchange kept going until I interrupted and said that I would like to use the light to see the scorpions. My friend grimaced and told me that I didn’t know how to handle social interaction. We had a great time looking at the formerly invisible scorpions in the night. We took pictures and gazed in awe at their beauty. Personally, I, along with some other people with us, had never seen scorpions in the wild before. It was a cool opportunity. Anyway, the point is that this would have never happened if my people-pleaser friend had successfully shooed the light-lending lady away. The lady had offered us a UV light that she already owned. She insisted that we try it out. So why fight out of politeness? It harms both parties in this case, since the lady seemed to genuinely want us to have fun. This exchange is an example of one of the many reasons why it is a bad habit to be unnecessarily polite, which is that it can prevent people from taking advantage of opportunities.
Small talk, on the other hand, is something that we’ve all had to endure throughout our lives. Some live for it. I’d say that they aren’t really living. You can forget having a real human connection with the person if you insist on rhetorically asking how the other person is doing. If one person simply gives the other a real answer, the conversation will switch and both parties will let their guard down. So, I say just skip the small talk. Everyone would find it refreshing, unless they don’t have anything to talk about beyond the weather. The people that prefer to stay engaged in small talk are not interesting, and not worth getting to know any further. That is, if there is anything further to know.
Perhaps small talk ties into politeness, if enough people feel that it is common courtesy. Ultimately, however, it is an unnecessary and exhausting exchange between people. And, it won’t provide any information of substance to the other person. To be blunt is to be genuine. I would go insane if people were to only engage in small talk.
Consider this guy Bill who’s asking about the weather, when they are both literally standing outside. Bill has no idea how to respond, as this is a nonsensical question. Be more like Bill.
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