It’s the end of the year. Graduating high-school seniors are signing up for next fall’s college courses, which means they’ve already made some decisions about what discipline they’re going to major in. This is a list of the majors that I think** you shouldn’t go into. Let me explain my reasoning.
The undergraduate majors in this list aren’t necessarily the most useless ones, just the ones I personally dislike. If I offend anyone, hopefully it’s not someone I know personally. Also, this list is not in any particular order.
*Levi’s Disclaimer: Do not take my advice seriously. Go into anything you want.
Parks, Recreation, and Leisure Studies
It’s the study of leisure. This is the major for people who want to create summer camps, become a recreational therapist, and design parks. That’s fine, but my question is: Why? Why would you want to spend your time in college learning about recreation, which is something we all take part in regardless of the presence of government-provided recreational services. You could learn about something that actually advances the world. Creating a park designed for maximum leisure isn’t going to stop wars. It’s not going to advance our scientific knowledge. So, it just seems like a waste of time and potential to me.
Computer Science
Too many CS students only sign up for the money that comes with computer-science-related jobs. Says Michigan Computer-Science Professor Igor Markov, “Based on my recent teaching experience, there are definitely many students signing up for CS majors who aren’t prepared enough and have difficulty getting through foundational material” (Forbes). I say, it’s a fine major, but it’s too popular. We don’t need a million people trying to be computer scientists.
Junior High/Middle School Education
The people who have the patience to teach kids in middle school are a godsend, but it’s not something that I’d do for a million dollars.
Astronomy
I love looking at the stars, and I’d love to have a nice telescope for astrophotography, but learning about space is something that doesn’t interest me at all. I feel that the secrets of the universe are more easily discovered at the quantum scale rather than astronomical. Also, you won’t become the next Stephen Hawking. Realistically, you’re gonna end up recording data for the rest of your life. You aren’t smart enough to become a theoretical physicist surrounded by giant chalkboards with equations written everywhere.
Pre-law/Criminal Justice
Too many movies depict lawyers as the most arrogant and pretentious people in the room. They’re right. I participated in Mock Trial once, and some of the “attorneys” were infuriatingly rude. There was one girl who kept cutting me off in the middle of my testimony! She would ask, “Did you see Jamie and Eric arguing at Jamie’s mother’s funeral?” and I would respond, “Yes, but-” and she would cut me off right there. Now, that might just be my anecdotal experience, but according to law gazette.co.uk, the general public views lawyers as “arrogant, disinterested or unapproachable.” And, on top of being viewed as an arrogant lawyer, you may end up defending people that strike against your moral compass. Criminal defense lawyers often have to defend clients against charges of pedophilia, murderer, rape, and other unsavory acts. So, unless you want to be viewed as a narcissist while also having to defend the worst people of society (if you choose to be a criminal defense lawyer), getting into law is a bad idea.
While these are my least favorite majors, most of them are still useful to the world. But, I ask: How do lawyers deal with the guilt? And, thank you middle-school teachers. Also, I used to love running around the playground and sliding down slides; so, I guess I have Leisure Studies majors to thank for that. If any of these majors are right for you, it’s not my place to say it isn’t. But, I hope I convinced you to re-think that career in law.
*Our Disclaimer: The opinions expressed by Levi Kassinove are solely his own and not necessarily those of thebirdonfire.org.
As a college student, I have thoughts:
1. What on earth is Leisure Studies? First I’ve heard of it. I remember talking with a fellow alum who considered a Forestry major but that’s the closest I’ve heard of it. And let’s be real…no college degree gives you the TRUE experience of leisure. College isn’t always super difficult but it’s rarely a cake walk.
2. The Astronomy MAJOR is not common (astrophysics MAYBE but I don’t know any Astro majors) but the Astronomy DEPARTMENT at University of Michigan is a GREAT way to satisfy some math AND science requirements, killing two birds with one stone. I almost took an Astro class but dropped it when I got off the waitlist for a class on (U of M graduate and one of the greatest American playwrights) Arthur Miller, taught by a genius who KNEW THE LEGEND HIMSELF. But yeah…if you don’t like math and science but find yourself required to take SEVEN UNITS OF SCIENCE (most classes are 3-4 units so that’s two classes, and APs DO NOT TRANSFER) and at least one math course like is necessary at Michigan, Astronomy (which is rare in that it counts for BOTH) will be a class you regard fondly for saving you time and effort and allowing you to focus on taking other classes you would rather take anyway.
3. Regarding COMPUTER SCIENCE…you have spoken true, my friend. Computer science is a fine major…if you are extremely extremely interested in math and some forms of science and are willing to WORK SUPER HARD. And — IF YOU CAN GET THROUGH THE PAIN AND SUFFERING — you will likely be able to earn a living. But obviously that is IF you can succeed in a BRUTAL PAINFUL sequence of math and science and computer science, all of which is notoriously hard at the University of Michigan specifically.
All in all this is some great content that brought a smile to my face, Levi. Keep it up!
P.S.: I remember when you were yourself a middle schooler. While I personally would never go into junior high education, I did direct Twelve Angry Jurors, starring you and 12 other middle schoolers, and as a whole I enjoyed it thoroughly.
– Leo Daniel Milmet ‘21
Although I appreciate you and respect your thoughts on “majors” in college I believe you need to look deeper. Most majors and field of study have several avenues one can pursue. For example your comment on parks and recreation field encompasses not only the “playing’ but designing programs for underserved areas and children, it also involves designing recreation areas for the handicapped or preservation areas for wildlife.
Law-much more than being a prosecutor or defense attorney. Attorneys can teach at the university level, do contract law, marital law, child welfare and be an arbitrator. The list goes on and is extensive.
M/S education is usually a passion. This degree can also land your positions in other areas outside of the education arena or into administration where you could possibly make a change to better the middle school educational system.
Last, Astronomy. This is more of a passion. There are Atmospheric scientists, Aerospace engineers who help develop the telescopes that allow us to see into space and assist in flight control at space centers. This is another field that if you think out of the box can be quite rewarding.
I think what I am saying is before one rules out a major they need to do their research. Yes, what could be dead end for one person may be a dream for another.
Great article Levi
That “attorney” was an absolute pain, indeed. If we do mock trial next year we need to take advantage of objections for aggression because that drove me insane.