When asked to write about his personal motto, Blogger Erik decided to take an alternate route and discuss mottos you SHOULDN’T live by. Heed his advice.
“You have to have kids. They change your life!”
If you don’t want to have kids, you don’t have to. The societal pressure on couples to have kids forces many people, especially women, to undertake an unwanted pregnancy which, of course, can lead to large amounts of stress. According to Dr. Ellen Walker, a clinical psychologist,
If you find yourself in a situation where you feel pressured or judged due to not having kids, handle it as you please. If you don’t wish to talk about your personal life, simply say so. If you choose to speak out about your life choice, do so in an assertive manner. Remember, being assertive does not mean criticizing, intimidating, or controlling another person. It does mean honestly stating your own feelings, what you wish to have happen, and what you will and won’t do.
psychologytoday.com
In other words, people who desire to live childfree can choose how they navigate society’s traditional outlook. But, they must be prepared to stand their ground and confront people who disagree with them. And, that disagreement doesn’t mean forcing another person to change their point of view but rather respecting each other’s opinions.
“Just ignore the bullies.”
Speaking from personal experience, you should never ignore your bullies. If there’s a problem, you have to deal with it–either by reporting them or dealing with them yourself. Ignoring the bullies leads them to believe that they can do anything and get away with it. Ignoring bullies results in you suppressing your hurt feelings . . . until you explode.
“Just say ‘No!’”
This motto is commonly used in anti-drug campaigns. And, while many people think it’s easy to say “No” to drugs, that is not always the reality.
First of all, adults greatly underestimate how powerful peer pressure can be. One of the most horrible things a student can imagine happening to them is being ostracized because they didn’t do one thing. The word “Just” in “Just say ‘No’” makes it seem like “No” is an easy thing to say. But, for a student struggling to fit in, it is anything but easy.
Saying “no” might work for someone who’s emotionally secure. But, what about someone who is struggling with depression? What about someone who’s lost everything they own because of an economic crash, expensive medical bill, or a tragic accident? A person in that situation may be searching for a way to alleviate their pain, even if only temporarily. So, if someone offers them drugs that person will likely accept the offer. We need compassion for the person caught in this struggle. Addiction is a serious problem that won’t be solved by an easy catch-phrase.
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The reason I chose to write about mottos that DON’T work is because while I have no shortage of mottos I live by, I rarely see people talk about detrimental life mottos. I made this list because I wanted people to understand that not every motto is worth living by.
Motto Editor: Sara Habibipour
Sources:
- https://www.salon.com/2016/04/13/stop_pressuring_women_to_be_moms_its_insulting_to_assume_we_all_want_the_same_thing/
- https://mamaslatinas.com/parenting-pregnancy/why-we-shouldnt-pressure-women-to-have-kids
- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/complete-without-kids/201104/direct-and-subtle-pressure-have-children-how-can-childfree-wanna-1
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