What Do You Think About on Wednesdays?

I challenge the Blog Class to a writing prompt once a week. Most prompts I pull from Poets & Writers. To begin, I introduced them to Chindogu, a Japanese term that means “weird tool.” It was coined by Kenji Kawakami, a former editor of a monthly magazine called Mail Order Life. As a prank, Kawakami published prototypes for his bizarre inventions that were intentionally useless and could not actually be purchased. Later, Kawakami published a book titled 101 Unuseless Japanese Inventions: The Art of Chindogu. Some of Kawakami’s popular inventions included the Eye Drop Funnel Glasses, the Dumbbell Telephone, and Duster Slippers for Cats. I asked our Blog Class to play along and create their own impractical contraptions. They had to follow the tenets of Chindogu: “You have to be able to hold it in your hand and think, ‘I can actually imagine someone using this. Almost.’”—Ms. Zachik

Holden conceptualized Pencil Gloves

English students across the world are experiencing hand cramps right now as their English teachers force them to write essay after essay. Well, fear not, fellow high schoolers, for I have invented the Pencil Gloves (patent pending). It is a glove with a pencil superglued that you can wear Michael-Jackson style. To write twice as fast, you can wear a glove on each hand. The use of a glove gives your fingers some relief as you write that 1000-page essay due Friday at 11:59. You will no doubt get looks from your fellow classmates, both of admiration and possibly disgust. Without a doubt, you will be the talk of the school.

Hannah envisioned the TV Beep BEEP

I would invent an app for finding the TV remote. Whether this be on the TV itself or on the phone, I just want the remote to beep when I have lost it! If I couldn’t invent an app, I would certainly buy a remote that has that built in as a feature. . . . like “Find My iPhone.”

James “invented” the Branched Straw

Branched Straw is a new type of straw which you use to drink not only one drink, but multiple drinks. It can mix up a completely new taste for you. Sometimes, if you are hesitating between buying sodas or some other drinks, why not just buy all of them and use the branched straw to drink them all and feel the new taste.  

AJ came up with The Pin-Wheel Blower

Ever wanted to have the joy of seeing pigmented paper spinning, but there’s no wind and your lungs are too weak? Fear not! Our hand-held* device will blow the pinwheel for you AND exercise your arms!

*Disclaimer: Handles of device fit in two hands.

Luke “invented” the OopZZZ

So we’ve got a small little sphere with electrical shock capabilities implanted into your neck. This sphere has counterpart pieces that attach to everyday items like water bottles, laptops, pencil bags, etc. When you are out of proximity of a certain item, you get zapped, alerting you that you have left or forgotten something.

Makena says we need Baby Coffee

She pitches pocket-sized coffee pods that contain a shot of latte, coffee, tea, etc. From it, you get a boost of energy–in different flavors!

I, Ms. Zachik, go with Duster Mice (patterned after [stolen from?] Ray Bradbury’s “wall mice” which appear in his short story “There Will Come Soft Rains”)

Duster Mice come out and attack any dust or dirt or dog fur rolling about on the floor. When done, the Duster Mice then store themselves conveniently back in your wall. You only see them when dirt blows up. Then, they retract–out of sight. Dirt be gone!–Zachik out