By Luke Langlois, Pizza Enthusiast
There are many things that people need to do to maintain the strength of their frail bodies. The most important, as well as difficult, aspect of everyone’s health is their diet. Today, I am offering up a quick strategy to overcome the challenge of consuming healthy meals. Just eat pizza!
According to most qualified people, healthy eating is defined as consuming a variety of foods with a variety of proteins, carbohydrates, and other nutrients with complicated names (calor-WHAT?). The same qualified people typically say that a healthy diet includes the following: grains, fruits, vegetables, dairies, and meats. Pizza includes all of these things. Let us dive deeper.
The crust is the base of all pizza. Without crust, you have a gloomy, unstructured pile of cheese, sauce, and whatever else you decide to put on your pizza. Without crust, there is no pizza. Besides delivering the delectable tastes to our buds, the crust is a grain, one of the essential food groups. So it begins. Pizza includes one of the five essential food groups.
The tomato sauce is what separates breadsticks from pizza. Any real pizza connoisseur will tell you that the sauce makes or breaks a pizza. Without sauce, again, there is no pizza. Though, more importantly, the sauce is the source of the fruit group. Some people consider tomatoes a fruit, others a vegetable. Either way, it’s essential to your health. I personally recommend that you consider the tomato sauce a fruit. It is much more difficult to add an obscure fruit to your pizza than it is a small vegetable. Regardless, it is now evident that pizza includes THREE of the five essential food groups.
When people think of dairy, they think of cows. When they think of cows, they think of milk, cheese, ice cream, yogurt, or angry vegetarians. Now, here’s a challenge: which of these items is found on our pizza? It’s cheese. Cheese, the expensive fur coat of all pizzas, is another food that is proven to bring you to a state of well-being. It also brings us one group closer to the mythical promised land of five food groups.
Pizza sounds like a superfood already, but it gets better. There are a million different types of meat that can be put on a pizza. Typically, there’s pepperoni, sausage, or ham. But, you do not necessarily have to be typical. Who knows, maybe a nice filet mignon would be a fine pizza topping. Whatever meat you choose to top your pizza with, this final piece of the puzzle proves that pizza is indeed, a superfood.
Eating healthy may appear to be difficult, but the solution is simple. No longer will you have to endlessly browse superfluous social media accounts searching for an impossible meal plan. Just eat pizza. Your cells will thank you.
Editor: Leo Milmet
C’mon! Don’t be glib! A convenient comfort food? Yes. “SUPER food”??? Hardly!
Especially when you make 3 slices your MEAL twice a week ….instead of one slice a SNACK once a week. Especially when you’re like most adolescents and teens, who will NOT eat thin crust pizza loaded with healthy vegetables. Especially when it depends on the fat content of the pepperoni (some is 50%) and cheese. Especially when it depends on how “processed” the fast food contents are. How salty the excessive anchovies. Especially when pizza is most commonly consumed with oversized quantities of carbonated highly sweetened “Superdrinks”. And most of all…worst of all, when it is served…. on Palm Valley special occasions… with ice cream sundaes, and sugar frosted cookies, and chocolate cream pie slices with whipped cream topping. (our other favorite “superfoods’)
Here’s a suggestion. Collect the data on pizza consumption by people with obesity….and pizza consumption by people with healthy body weight.
Some “superfood”………..silly categorization !
Knowing you, Luke, I suspect this article may be provocative irony at its best.