By Leo Milmet
For Ms. McGrew
I’m a polar bear in a snowstorm.
I blend in well with all the snow.
Or with a whiteboard.
Or whatever.
My red eyes and green nose, however,
drawn by an obnoxious sixth-grader
on Mrs. McGrew’s whiteboard, don’t really blend in as well.
What, am I a damn Christmas tree?
I hate my red eyes.
I look like a vampire in those god-awful
Twilight movies, or books, or whatever they are.
Y’know what I mean, right?
I want blue eyes.
My best friend Emily — the
Polar bear in a snowstorm to my left — has blue eyes. And she has a gold nose,
regally created for the Hanukkah season.
She’s so much prettier than I am.
She was just drawn yesterday.
I guess our job is to get people in the holiday spirit no matter what holiday we celebrate,
but it’s kinda hard to be in a celebratory mood when you look like a sad, tiny, disjointed wreath.
Whatever though. It’s fine — I,
born of two markers and a Satanic sixth-grader,
am a polar bear in a snowstorm, and a polar bear in a snowstorm I will stay.
I still want Emily’s eyes, though.
I mean, seriously, how hard is it to erase my eyes and redraw them blue? That hard? Really?
Really? Okay, fine. Whatever. You win.
Editor: Luke Langlois
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