By Reddit Investigator Brennan Nick
Most people know what The Onion is. It is a “news” source that posts hilariously fictional articles on ridiculous subjects. However, you do not need to look to fiction to laugh at stories that may seem as if they’re fake. Below are some ecstatically funny headlines that were found in actual news sources:
1. “Restaurant arms diners with squirt guns to ward off… seagulls”
Source: The Takeout
2. “Farmer accused of shooting murder blames gunfire on eggplant”
Source: 9news
3. “Scientists plan DNA hunt for Loch Ness monster next month”
Source: Reuters
4. “Man rescued from Taliban didn’t believe Donald Trump was President”
Source: Newsweek
5. “Uber’s search for a female CEO has been narrowed down to 3 men”
Source: The Denver Post
6. “Passenger turned away from two flights after wearing 10 layers of clothing to avoid luggage fee”
Source: The Telegraph
7. “UPS loses Family’s $846K Inheritance, Offers to Refund $32 Shipping Fee”
Source: Newsweek
8. “Justin Bieber banned from China in order to ‘purify’ nation”
Source: The Telegraph
9. “NPR tweets the Declaration of Independence, and people freak out about a ‘revolution’”
Source: The Kansas City Star
10. “Man who mowed lawn with tornado behind him says he ‘was keeping an eye on it.’”
Source: Times Colonist
11. “Ferry McFerryface to be name of new Sydney ferry after public vote”
Source: ABC News
12. “Alt-Right White Supremacists Claim Papa John’s as Official Pizza”
Source: Newsweek
13. “White supremacists taking DNA tests sad to discover they’re not 100% white”
Source: Global News
14. “Palestinian judge bans divorce during Ramadan because ‘people make hasty decisions when they’re hungry’”
Source: Independent
15. “After 4th DWI, man argues legal limit discriminates against alcoholics”
Source: Statesman
16. “Argentinian officers fired after claiming mice ate half a ton of missing marijuana”
Source: The Guardian
17. “‘Nobody kill anybody’: Murder-free weekend urged in Baltimore”
Source: The Baltimore Sun
18. “Texas judge interrupts jury, says God told him defendant is not guilty”
Source: Statesman
19. “Saudi Arabia accidentally prints textbook showing Yoda sitting next to the king”
Source: The Telegraph
20. “‘Japan’s slowest roller coaster’” derails, passengers don’t notice”
Source: Sora News 24
Editor: AJ Patencio
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