Advice of the Week from “Dear Claire”
According to Medical Daily, 24,000 people per year die from being struck by lightning, so obviously you should consider carefully before leaving your house. A BuzzFeedYellow article says 450 people die per year falling out of bed. So, the risks of getting out of bed should also be considered carefully–maybe just stay there and hide from whatever objects could kill you. Our day-to-day activities clearly are an adventure in living dangerously. Claire’s compiled some interesting, unexpected, and worrying ways to die. Watch out for the following.
(A list of “Unexpected Ways to Die” on Valentine’s Day? “Dear Claire” says, “Death can be romantic. Haven’t you read Romeo and Juliet? Thanks, Mr. Griffin.”)
Top 5 Unexpected Ways to Die:
- Eating a cherry pit: The inside of the cherry pit is lethal! Don’t eat it!
- Elevator crash (cdc.gov says 30 people die annually by elevator): If the elevator seems unstable or old, maybe don’t get in it!
- Vending machine falling on you: Even if a bag of chips is stuck on the other side, do not rock the machine; it may fall, and you will DIE.
- Electrocuted by a toaster: Don’t touch a toaster with wet hands; it increases your chances of getting electrocuted. Also, don’t put any metal in the toaster to fish out your toast (forks, knives, etc).
- Hippo attack (bbc.com says 500 people per year die in Africa via hippo attack): Hippos are more aggressive than they appear, and they are known for charging at smaller boats and capsizing them.
Editor: Brennan Nick
*Medical Daily referenced.
Eating a Tide Pod? Swallowing a fidget spinner? Too-much-homework overdose?
(The inability to take a joke as a joke? Now that’s fatal.)
Very dangerous. NEVER NEVER NEVER climb into an automatic dryer to look for a missing athletic sock, and then mistakingly pull the dryer door closed behind you while the girlfriend you jilted is standing outside the dryer where she has access to the start-on-high-heat button.